For no particular reason, since I was previously unfamiliar with the term, this was the image that came to mind when I read “hosebeast.”
Yep. It’s been that way for me all my adult life. I still find “sexy” to be close to my own age (67).
I’m 56 and as I age, there are more women I find attractive. 20s, 30s, 40s and 50s, women can be attractive at all of those age ranges. But that is physical beauty, which though hawt, is fleeting. What attracts me is intimacy and friendship and love. And I’m married to her.
But that doesn’t stop me from looking and admiring.
Growing old with somebody makes all the difference.
The love and friendship that develops over almost thirty years creates a unique bond. Wrinkles, saggy skin, and weight gain just doesn’t really matter. It’s an unavoidable part of aging.
My wife and I have changed a lot since we met in 1985. We’re still attracted to each other.
I’m not blind. I do take a look if I see a thirty something rocking tight jeans in the mall.
Yes, it refers to the face. People without good bone structure have enough fat and/or droopy skin that their bone structure isn’t clearly defined; some people have droopy jowls or underjaw without having much fat. I’m surprised you apparently hadn’t encountered the expression before.
Eventually in life - if you’re lucky - you find out two things:
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Sex is boring in itself. The enjoyment is in the mind far more than the body.
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Genuine love and affection is never boring, and if sex is one way of expressing love then it won’t get boring.
This may sound very trite and simplistic, it may sound moralistic, it may even sound childish, but it happens to be true.
It’s probably easier for a man in his 40s to get sex from a 30something Euro chick than his wife. Or more likely, you end up old and married and still jerking it.
What, some sort of fancy antique roll-top?
Yeah, I’m getting rather disgusted by the language Shagnasty uses to describe women he doens’t find attractive (harpies, hosebeasts, etc.). Shags, this probably won’t get through to you, but this kind of language reveals some troubling attitudes you have about women. You don’t have to love and be attracted to every woman, but they’re all people, and their attractiveness has nothing to do with their worth as a person. And for mature and kind people, attractiveness only has a little to do with one’s worth as a romantic partner.
I don’t think you have much of a chance at finding romantic happiness based on your apparent attitudes about women.
The expressed contempt for women is troubling. I don’t actually pay much attention to him, I’m just here to add my voice as someone who doesn’t believe women should be traded in at 39.
Or ambitious.
I’ve always found slightly older women attractive so, as I’ve aged my idea of beauty has expanded to include a lot more age groups. My eyesight is fading too. Of course a 20 year old girl with perfect skin and the future ahead of her is attractive. But, and I apologize to all the beautiful young ladies out there, I want more that a pretty face from the person I spend all my time with. Conversation, respect and kindness are essential and a little physical attraction to me is nice as well.
Don’t get me wrong, instant boners are awesome, but at some point they stop being instant no matter how pretty the face. Then you’re going to want someone who likes the rest of you.
Married and find my 58 year old wife of 33 years and four kids very attractive but this comment does serve as a reality check to some of the positions staked out here.
I know that my wife thought the younger me, with a full head of curly hair, was more physically attractive than the current bald pated one. One morning I woke to her staring at me and saying “how did I end up in bed with middle aged man?” Seriously I think our self-image stops somewhere around 30 plus minus 5 and we best imagine ourselves with someone consistent with that deluded self-image. What I think happens is that long term partners are often at least partially included in our self-delusion bubble.
Most “men in their 40’s or above” who partake of observing “women on the computer” are not preferentially searching for material of their own age or older.
I definitely see many women my age and a bit older as “hot” and some who are younger “not.” What is first reaction changes often once a personality and mind gets experienced as well. But in terms of superficial reaction before mind and personality gets engaged the statements of some here that they see the older of their gender of attraction as more appealing than those a bit younger seem a bit of protest too much. I do not think there is anything pathetic about my finding Gal Gadot, 26 years younger than me and the same age as my oldest son, amazingly hot.
I’m nearly 50 and my wife is 50. We met when we were 20. I still find her very attractive.
I don’t think it is simple partiality. I find the office assistant who works near my office very attractive, and she’s a mother of two in her mid-40s.
This doesn’t stop me from finding young women attractive as well - though in many cases, I have nothing much in common with them. If I was single, in general I’d rather date women my own age, simply because I think I would find them more compatible with myself in terms of interests and experiences. Young women on average have the edge in looks, but older women on average are more likely to share interests with me; so it ought to be perfectly possible to find a woman who has both - in which case, age isn’t important.
I guess I’ve never had this particular concern; being in a monogamous relationship so long, I’ve never really worried about it one way or the other - evaluating the relative attractiveness of others isn’t a necessity for me.
Wisdom, experience, depth and balance are very sexy, and often improve with age.
I’m the same age as Shagnasty and surprisingly, I’ve managed to stay attracted to my college sweetheart / wife for the past 20 years.
Why wouldn’t they?
It isn’t but disputing it makes some people feel better. I think it’s a generalization with a YMMV factor like much of anything.
Oh yeah, applies to younger women, too.
Those things can be managed with expectations and boundaries and not proposing to every (or any) attractive person. Life stages have a lot to do with this. I see myself being divorced sometime in the near future (not what I wanted) and I’ve learned more about what I would like in relationships with the opposite sex. I think sexual attraction/activity is very important unless/until I have an illness that removes my sex drive (possible but less likely for men in good health who haven’t given up on life like the “sad old men” mentioned in OP) and it’s damn near impossible and probably very unfair to expect any one person to fulfill all the roles most of us tend to demand in a relationship.
This is what I always tried to do and thought was a practical strategy, but I’ve found that when attraction has to develop the other person will end up incredibly insecure/needy or just resentful and torpedo the relationship. Conventional wisdom might say the less attracted (not necessarily more attractive) partner will stray or look for the “greener grass” but I’ve found the opposite happen.
This thread has a lot of legit “there are more important things than physical attraction” examples and that’s true, but how many women really want to be with a man that she had to wear down into trying out a relationship after no sexual attraction and/or he gradually came to the conclusion “this is great lady, we have tons to talk about, might as well have sex because she’s available”?
That’s not really what I’m advocating – if there’s no attraction after one date then it’s reasonable to move on. I’d just say that one should put attraction on a lower peg at the beginning. Many folks are undoubtedly already doing this.