Husband to wife: Just so you know, when you turn 40 I’m going to trade you in on 2 twenties
Wife to Husband: Honey, you’re not wired for 220!
This is silly. Shagnasty, I’m about where Princhester was in terms of loving /hating your posts, but this isn’t even a real question on your part. You’re not looking for marriage or happily ever after, you’re looking for “attractive and fun to spend time with”, so for Og’s sake just date younger women if that’s what’s attractive to you.
There’s not even any social opprobrium attached to this, it’s common enough to be sexually codified in the “half your age plus 7” formula. There are literally no downsides, besides it being harder to convince hot young things to go out with you.
And on not having such in Boston, it is to laugh. Boston?? The one with a quarter million students every year? Even if undergrad is too young, there’s literal boatloads of grad and phd students in that pool. Go forth and prosper!
I think that the stereotype of women falling for older men is grounded in the fact that throughout history, females have held a lower rank in society. It’s not until recently that women could vote, own property, run a company. I think that younger women started developing an attraction to older men, not because they thought that they were better looking-- surely not, as a 44-year old man ages just as much as a 44-year old woman, perhaps even more so when you take hair into consideration – but because older men represented financial security. Makes sense. Attraction = sex = babies.
As women have become more educated, and wealthy in their own right, we’re starting to see the natural progression of that cultural shift. With rank comes privilege because we’re seeing many more divorces initiated by women, as many more older woman/younger man relationships.
So take heart those over 50 like myself! You don’t need to be physically attractive to find a smoking hot mate. You just need cold, hard cash.
“Face it girls. I’m older and I have more insurance.”
― Fannie Flagg, Fried Green Tomatoes at the Whistle Stop Cafe
Still good advice…
It’s some sort of fancy somethin’, I’ll tell ya that.
Riiiight.
A lot of attraction is based on who the person is, not just what they look like. A well matched couple will grow closer over the years. When you hear of an elderly man saying that his elderly wife is the most beautiful woman in the world, he’s speaking the truth from his heart.
Once you eventually meet the right person, and nurture the relationship, I expect that you will find her more and more attractive as your bond matures.
I am a 40yo woman who has currently re-entered the dating scene after taking a multi-year sabbatical due to not wanting to go through the effort of dating. So in some ways, I am not the target of this thread, but when have I ever let being a woman stop me:D
I currently have my online age preferences set to 37-47. I originally had my lower range set to 32, but the baby faces were just not doing it for me! The issue I am running into isn’t their calendar age, but their facial age… How do some 45 year olds look like they they are 65?
In some cases, I think they are lying on their profile, but for others I think they are just aging badly. And the issue with online is that you are forced to make guesses about chemistry, both romantic and physical. I went out with a guy a few weeks ago, 48 but looked younger. Physical chemistry? Pretty solid 
Odds of a romantic relationship? Or even friendship… Less so. And maybe if I actually met one of those 30 year olds, I would feel the same, but I am trying to play the odds. And the odds of me wanting to bone a guy in his early 30s? Pretty slim. Just like the odds of me wanting to bone a guy 6" shorter than I am or a guy who delivers pizza for a living or an 80 year old invalid. Not impossible, and in person anything is possible. But online, when it is all a numbers game, so I am filtering to find the most likely guys that I will want to bone AND sit and have a leisurely dinner.
I guess that this boils down to this question: When you say “attracted to women” are you talking about sex ONLY? In which case, as long as they are legal and consenting, fuck whoever you want. If you are looking for both sex and leisurely dinners, you will find women in your age group who meet both criteria, there just won’t be as many of them. Because this is true at any age.
I am not sure if I am adding this to humble brag or to make a point about age just being a number, but 3 separate times recently, I’ve had men absolutely shocked to find out I was 40. One was a straight married male neighbor I’ve known for quite a while, but somehow we had never discussed age. One was a gay man in his early 30s. And one was another straight married co-worker who I haven’t known for long. The neighbor guy definitely has a bit of a thing for me, so maybe he was trying to flatter me. But the other two? Nope.
Advice like that is the reason I asked the question although I was curious about other people’s experiences as well. For some reason, I felt uncomfortable going below about 4 years younger than I am. That worked when I was in my 30’s but not so much now. It sounds simple but I realize now I can just ask for what I want and I may even get it.
The younger woman that was my potential Bumble date did me a mental favor. I asked her to add me to her Facebook page last night (to see if she really is the real deal). She did it from back home in Manhattan and she most certainly is. She is a perfect 10 in every way with tons of friends, photos and posts. I still have no idea why she wanted to go out with me and it will probably never happen unless she comes back but if I can get her to respond, I shouldn’t hesitate to ask just about anyone.
I looked through Bumble, Tinder and Match.com today to see if my estimation of 40+ year old women was that far off. The ratio was really bad but I did find a few decent ones including a 47 year old in really good shape and wrote them. I will have to see what happens. I don’t have a numbers problem with Match and Bumble (home of the wealthy, aggressive women) but the quality has been less than I hoped in the looks department. It turns out that almost everyone has a few good pictures of themselves and some of them are quite outdated.
Seriously? If you’re in your 40s and your wife refuses to have sex with you, then go ahead and get divorced. It doesn’t matter if the problem is your fault or her fault or both or neither, what’s the point of staying together with someone who makes you miserable and who you make miserable?
Oh, the kids? The kids that see the two of you acting indifferent, or angry, or contemptuous toward each other?
Nobody says you have to have a wild sex life, if neither of you want that. It’s perfectly possible to live as platonic best friends and have a great relationship. But if your wife is such a great platonic best friend, wouldn’t she help you out in the blowjob department every now and then, even if she doesn’t like to? You pick up your buddy at the airport even though nobody wants to go to the airport, right?
And statistic show that married people have sex a lot more often than single people. It’s just logistics, for crying out loud. If you were a serious player who went out with women every week, how often are you going to get lucky? Yeah, if you’re Brad Pitt your odds are a bit different. You’re not Brad Pitt.
I once heard someone say that they find women attractive going from the age when they first started noticing women, to roughly their own age. I can personally relate. I’m in my late 30s, I find women attractive going from teenagers to around ~50. the last girl I asked out was 51 (she declined, but many do. Such is the game).
I don’t currently find 70 year old women attractive, but I probably will when I’m around 60.
Having said that, a woman’s fertility declines with age. A woman is almost totally infertile by her mid 40s.
https://www.babycentre.co.uk/i/preconception/infertilitygraph.gif
Seeing how at core the real reason we do all this dating shit is to create a new generation of children, finding infertile people unattractive isn’t really controversial (men finding infertile women unattractive is like women finding unemployed, unreliable men unattractive. It is expected since both groups are not very good at creating and raising children).
I keep myself attractive to women my age by attending to my grooming, watching what I eat, getting some exercise, and trying to be an interesting conversationalist. I know a number of clean jokes and can display a sincere interest in what someone else is saying.
No different than what I did when I was younger and on the dating pool.
I don’t think finding younger women attractive as pathetic either.
It’s a different story finding all (or almost all) women your age so unattractive that you feel compelled to insult them.
There is more to pair bonding than lust. I suspect men like the OP are anomalies for a reason. If we want to do some evolutionary psychology bullshitting, we could assert that men capable of maintaining romantic interest in older women are more likely to be around to support and protect her and the kids he creates with her…who then go on to create loving, nurturing kids of their own. Such men will also benefit from the intimacy and love a constant partner provides, increasing his longevity and by extension, the length of his sex life.
All I have to say that even as a guy, I’m kind of glad I’m married after reading this thread. I can’t imagine having to go out there dating people my age, most of whom embittered from carrying a quarter century or more of relationship baggage and reaching a point where they can no longer hide the ravages of time.
Is it really any different for women? We’ve seen more than one male on this board become anti-women after a divorce.
I don’t see where he specified his remarks to men only?
That is the way that it is working these days and it does suck. I couldn’t be more simple. I just want a pretty girl to travel with me or even go bowling. We don’t even have to have sex or even kiss and I will usually pay for it yet that is surprisingly hard to find. There is always some complication.
For the record, I am about the least anti-female person you will ever meet. All females that know me love me. It has nothing to do with that. I take care of two daughters on my own every weekend. My best friend for three years was a very attractive woman. She had to quit her job where we worked because of constant insinuations that we were having an affair but that wasn’t true. I didn’t want to destroy her marriage so we don’t talk anymore but I want somebody like her.
However, dating relationships are completely different. It is all sexual innuendo and either you have it or you don’t. It has nothing to do with women in general. I am fairly confident that I could get a date with the attractive younger woman in the office next to mine if I wanted and I am almost certain that I could have have an affair with the married office-mate sitting a few feet away judging by some of the comments even toady but I don’t do that. I have seen too many people commit career suicide by going out with and screwing coworkers. It happens all the time but sometimes the situation blows up and nobody wants to deal with that.
I’ve never interacted with you, so take this an unbiased take: this thread is a complete contradiction to what you say here. Just your useage of “females” alone reeks of MRA.
I’m 45 and can say I fit the qualifications. I see what you’re writing, however, and you don’t seem to fit your own qualifications. I would think “here’s a dude with a clear chip on his shoulder, is only interested in me primarily on my looks and my ability to fit his definition of fun. What is he bringing to the table?”.
Why not just hire an escort and be done? im asking sincerely.
This is a cubic buttload of bullshit. :rolleyes: Besides the constant objectification in which you engage, someone who isn’t “anti-female” wouldn’t be spewing crap like “harpy wives”. And what about this gem? " I will treat her like gold at least for a while." Meaning what? You’ll treat them like shit after you get tired of them?
Run, women, RUN!!