I think that’s excellent advice. Contrary to popular belief, there are a lot of women out there that love dick, and continue to love it well into marriage.
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Shagnasty**, go date younger women if that’s what you want to do. I think your view of relationships sounds incredibly fucked up (and I suspect you know this) but I doubt you’ll be happy trying to fit yourself into my value system, as I am pretty much automatically attracted to anyone I think would make a good partner and I love being married. Some people are prisoners of their own standards, and when it comes to physical attraction I’m not sure that can be solved.
That is a legitimate question. I have discussed it with my close friends and even my own father. From a cost/benefit standpoint, that is the way to go. Even at several hundred dollars an hour for a high quality escort, it is still cheaper than a wife or a girlfriend with guaranteed services and none of the hassle. However, I never felt quite right about doing that. I did have a friend take me to a very “liberal” strip club in Rhode Island and talked with a gorgeous stripper/escort for a while before someone else paid for well, let’s just call it a very enhanced lap dance that cost a lot of money. It got a lot further along than I expected before I slowed it down and we just talked for the rest of it (she was completely nude of course). It was a good time with a gorgeous girl but it wasn’t quite the girlfriend experience.
When I say something like “harpy wives”, I mean just that. It doesn’t apply to most of them but Married With Children was made for a reason. If it doesn’t apply to a particular person then just disregard it. The same thing applies to hosebeasts. They are even more rare but you will know it when you see it and almost everyone knows a couple of them. There are equivalent terms for bad husbands but that isn’t what this thread is about.
When I said, “I will treat them like gold at least for a while”, there is no ill intent behind that. It just means that I have no expectations of permanence on either side. It will last as long as it does and either person is free to move on when it doesn’t. I don’t plan to mistreat anyone intentionally but sometimes relationships break down and I have no reason to try to rescue a failing one.
As for the “Run!” part, you may be right but some aren’t going to listen. I am honest about my attitudes but there are a whole lot of men much worse than me out there and they get all kinds of women.
As to hosebeast, I hate to inject some, like, actual facts into the self-righteous pile on, but the only time **Shagnasty **has used “hosebeast” was in the OP where he said “Being married to a hose-beast on either side is worse than being set free (divorced) in my opinion” [my emphasis]. So his comment was gender neutral; it was an even handed statement about being married to an unattractive person.
As to harpy, do you realise that it means “a grasping, unpleasant woman”? In other words it’s a statement about personality not looks, as you seem to assume. And is such language disgusting?
It’s OK to say you don’t find “awful people” attractive, right? After all, that’s what you said at post #32. Why is it OK to not be attracted to “awful people” but not OK not to be attracted to “harpy women”? Would it have been OK for **Shagnasty **to say he is not attracted to “grasping, unpleasant women”?
You seem to be drawing some weirdly fine lines here.
I’m sure you’re not anti-male but do you recognise any male personalities you are not attracted to? Are you attracted to, say, MRE men? What about “men who objectify women”? Is it OK to say that you are not attracted to such men? If that’s OK why exactly is it not OK to say you are not attracted to “grasping, unpleasant” ie “harpy” women?
And here’s a clue; heaps of **Shagnasty’s **posts talk about his views towards women and personality. His “harpy” comment is one, for a start.
Last I heard, objects don’t have personality. The whole “you’re objectifying” thing is thrown around like confetti, but there’s seldom much rational thought behind the accusation, IME.
Mid 40’s and I think most women are attractive, if they care about how they look and what they wear. Women who are medically morbidly obese can be well put together. Women my age (47) and older can be well put together. Just look like you give a shit, and you are still attractive (my opinion).
You really don’t see yourself as “embittered from carrying a quarter century or more of relationship baggage and reaching a point where they can no longer hide the ravages of time”? It seems highly possible that that’s a huge piece of the complication that you’re encountering: if any of what you’re saying here, any of it at all, bleeds through to your in-person encounters with women, no wonder things are difficult.
This seems like an excellent opportunity to talk with a therapist. The way you’re describing yourself in this thread seems entirely at odd with the impression you’re giving of yourself, and a therapist might help you sort out some of your issues.
I think the answer to the OP’s question is depth of character. No one denies attraction is required to start relations between the sexes.
Some simply lack the depth to care beyond the firmness of the flesh, whereas others can’t imagine building a relationship across a generational divide just so the flesh is firmer.
The people I love is because of who they are, not their age or body shape. Once you really get to know someone as a person you sort of stop seeing the physical them and become all about their character. Hence the old man telling his old wife how beautiful she is, because he values her beyond her flesh self and into her character.
It’s the reason you stay with your lover after a disfiguring accident, or love your ugly dog, because their physical appearance is not your measure of their worth.
I always wonder what guys such as our OP expect to happen when 50+yr old them develops an illness or loses a limb, etc. Do they really expect the young firm flesh is gonna stand by them? Or revert to their own criteria and go looking for a still physically intact man?
Ok, just so I understand:
You want a pretty woman. She should be fun and chipper. She should not fall in love - be happy with a relationship that is defined by your terms. She will be treated like gold providing she keeps her end of the bargain.
But not you’re saying that you don’t feel quite right to pay for an escort? This sounds like an ideal situation for one. If this goes against your morals (?) then why not just do these fun things alone or with friends? Why exactly are you needing a pretty woman if you are ok with the situation being platonic?
One thing you didn’t discuss is what are you bringing to the table. Why would any woman want the scenario you describe?
When it comes to food, I want guaranteed service. I want my woman to cook delicious food for me, exactly what I want, and serve it to me, and wash all the dishes. I hate how you ask a woman to do this and she gets all…complicated. Starts making demands of me. Starts, I dunno, haranguing me. Expects me to go to the GROCERY STORE.
Someone suggested I should go to a restaurant. But I dunno. I never felt quite right about doing that.
Thank you all for informing me the word “hosebeast” existed, as I was not privy to the term. 
Online Slang Dictionary definition (some other choice words lower on the page).
There seem to be two kinds of women that I look at, and think are hot - women under 40, and my wife. And it’s the same kind of visceral reaction in both cases. Apparently my limbic system has been conditioned in the first case by millions of years of evolution, and in the second by the fact that I have been admiring that ass for thirty five years.
Yes, she has an interesting personality and an off-beat sense of humor and is a good person and etc. etc. But apparently Mr. Happy finds her just as interesting as a 25 year old. Go figure.
That’s a good thing, certainly, but God help me if I ever have to return to dating. Will I find any women nearly my age sexually interesting? I have no idea.
Regards,
Shodan
Those are slurs, and just like any slur (slut, whore, or even racial slurs), they reveal far more about the speaker than the target. I feel comfortable criticizing the use of misogynistic slurs just as I would for racial slurs.
But it’s more than just slurs - the way he describes the women he wants to be with is much more like an object to be used and eventually discarded than a partner with whom to connect, love, and share experiences with. And I think it reveals a problem with the way he sees women.
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A couple of points:
Here is a collection of stunning Sports Illustrated photos of Christie Brinkley at age 63
She’s been divorced 4 times which means as attractive as she is, at least 4 different men got tired of her shit.
Or she them.
Look, the simple fact is that people reach a point where they start to lose their physical attractiveness. They get “old”. While there certainly are plenty of attractive people in their 40s, you’re really starting to get to a point where it takes more time, money and effort to look good. So you really need to start thinking about bringing more to the table than just being a “hot piece of ass”.
I think I understand Shagnasty’s perspective. Presumably he got married because he found someone he was attracted to and thought they would make a good companion through life. But eventually the banality and tedium of married life wore down on him. The constant “nothing fights”, “honey-do” task lists, and worrying about any time you take a moment for yourself, receiving an angry rebuke of “I don’t have time to take a shit!” And if that person let’s their appearance go or the sex drops off (assuming you still even want to have sex with them), then yeah, at some point I’d be like why the fuck am I chained to this “hose beast” hen pecking me in the grocery store?
It sounds to me that Shagnasty is looking more for casual friends or dating partners than trying to find “the one” so he can grow old with them.
As the old saying goes, “the common factor in all your failed relationships is ‘you’”.
Like…you guys talked about universal health care and income inequality and stuff?
I forgot “hose beast” was a quote from Wayne’s World.
Naw, she was coincidentally from a small town in Louisiana that I know very well just like me. I was more interested in talking about that than any “extra services”. The fact that she was also gorgeous and fully nude was enough of a novelty for me.
We went over this last year. He wants the girlfriend experience w/o having to act like a boyfriend. For whatever reason he’s not up to maintaining a romantic relationship in the usual, mundane ways. His challenge has been finding women who are fine w/ doing all the heavy lifting w/o emotional reciprocation AND have everything he’s looking for in sexually attractive partners.
I have a good friend who has this type of relationship. She is what he wants, and vice-versa, and their relationship works well for them. But he does not degrade her with slurs. They are respectful toward each other.
I’m with iiandyiiii and others on this issue. Shagnasty you can be vulgar if you want to, nasty even and if you just want cheap and easy shags then go for it. But the slurs don’t have to be accepted. And they’re not.
Sure, but that doesn’t mean they tired of her. She may be unable to sustain or an enjoy a long term relationship from her side. They may have been perfectly happy in their relationship with her.
I believe one can purchase the “girl friend experience”, if I’m not mistaken. 
There’s the solution right there!