Okay, fisrt let me say that I never thought I’d post to a relationship advice thread since I ain’t exactly an exemplar. However, my (male, for what it’s worth) eyebrows were twitched by the above passage from Rubystreak
Also, this guy, from what she says, it one of those sensitive/angry types (he got really mad at her for blowing him off a few times over scheduling issues, chewed her out big-time, and as soon as she cried, he dropped it and asked her to do something with him the next day. That type.)
To me, this sounds more like immature/angry than sensitive /angry - maybe I’m missing some context here, but his behaviour as reported would make me leery of getting intimately involved.
“To me, this sounds more like immature/angry than sensitive /angry - maybe I’m missing some context here, but his behaviour as reported would make me leery of getting intimately involved.”
Exactly my take on it. The guy sounds like he’s socially retarded. Come on, you guys are basing his feelings for her on the amount of times he’s fixed her computer? That’s just too geeky for words, even for this board.
Well most people have given my advice already. (that she should flat out tell him she’s interested) So I’ll address the wine/dinner thing.
He might not drink or be afraid of being drunk with her which would be a reason he’d say no. Plus speaking for myself I HATE letting girls cook for me. Why? I’m damn picky. Nothing sucks more (or embarasses me more) then to have someone go to trouble cooking for me only to have me pick at it. Some girls try to be nice when I mention how picky I am saying they’ll cook it my way but how romantic is me standing over their shoulder being ‘oh I don’t like that type of butter, no don’t add that, no I like it plain’.
Gotta wonder about her, too. If I understand the OP correctly, she believes he’s interested in her because (a) once she woke up and he was holding her feet and (b) he’s fixed her computer four times. I know guys are not always communicative, but is this all there is in seven years?! I think she’s seeing things that aren’t there.
Of course, there’s an easy enough way for Pam to find out…has she asked yet?
I was involved with an older woman once. When we met I was 20 and she was 35. We hit it off and had much fun for five years. But eventually the strain was too much for her. We were fine in our own world with close friends but eventually the outside world creeps in. A waiter once asked her “Would you and your son like a table by the window?” At a rare family get-together a gossip was telling a story about a couple with a large age difference and practically bit her tongue when she realized my girlfriend and I were listening.
Things like that are bound to happen. My advice to your friend is to forget pursuing the relationship. You can’t fight convention. All it will lead to is a couple of broken hearts.
I would love to hear more about the camping trip.
But as far at the foot thing goes he may just have a foot fetish.
Walk bare-foot around him while also wearing a low cut blouse. See if he stares at your feet or your chest.
She could also try putting a naughty picture of herself as the wallpaper on her computher and then call him to fix it.
I also agree that the ‘no dinner’ is probably because he is ashmed of his place.
Well, to be fair, Pam WAS blowing him off when he got mad at her. She was dating a drummer or something at the time and he was the priority. This guy may be a geek but he’s not a moron.
As for not doing anything for 7 years, may I remind you that he was illegal for 4 of those years and she didn’t see him for 3 more, so give the girl a break. This guy just turned 21.
The camping trip? They took a 12 year old with them. The kid went to sleep at 10 and they stayed up all night, smoking and laughing their asses off. They slept next to each other, but with the kid around, of course nothing could happen.
Personally, I think he’s as terrified of her as she is of him.