There is a beautiful woman that lives in my apartment building and I need a little advice dopers.
I see her every day on my way to the bus stop and I know she finds me attractive because she always smiles at me as I pass her by on the sidewalk, only problem is that she is about 70 maybe late 60’s…but she keeps up with the latest fashions and always looks immaculate. How do you guys think I should approach her without scaring her, because I might be getting the wrong signals from her and I don’t want to scare her considering she lives in the same apartment building as I.
Ok - now for my own prejudicial reasons I’m hoping you’re not under 30!!
So, not being one to tell my elders and betters what to do I’ll just say how I’d handle it!
You say you pass her, so why not start by just saying hello a few times, then you can easily progress to small conversation. After a while, if she’s responding (ie. hasn’t run back inside her building screaming for the cops!) you can ask her out for a coffee (or whatever).
I can’t see that she’d think you were a freak for just being friendly and sociable!
Good luck.
(hey, I do like being the first to answer a post)!!
Um, yeah, it’s quite likely you are getting the wrong signals from her. She probably sees you more like a grandson than possible dating material.
But, if you’re willing to go for it, just ask her to coffee some day, preferably at some place nearby that the two of you can walk to. Who knows, maybe she is attracted to you in a dating sort of way.
The two of you are adults, but serious relationships are somewhat rare when the generation gap is this great. There are just too many differences.
I’ll be honest. If I were that old, I would be somewhat weirded out by a kid (as I would see someone in our age range) asking me on a date, but at 28, I don’t even find 21 year old guys interesting any more.
Okay, you’re 26, she’s late 60’s-70. I don’t know…it’s pretty unconventional. Have you asked yourself what’s going on here with you because my first instinct is to think this is more about your head than her beautiful smiling face ?
I guess there’s nothing ‘wrong’ with it but reverse roles for a minute for another perspective: How many 26 year old women want to sleep with 70 year old (non-millionaire) men – what do you think of that, both the age difference and the number of women ?
Also, I don’t think I want to ask this but…is your own family and your upbringing pretty conventional ?
So I guess I’m saying; are you sure there’s not some underlying psychological motivation behind your interest - how, for example, do you get on with women around your own age ?
And BTW, based on every 70 year old woman I’ve ever met, I do think you’re totally misinterpreting signals.
Go pick on someone your own age and not on someone old enough to be your grandmother. I find it hard to believe that anyone would seriously advise you to pursue whatever interest you have in the woman you have described. If you need a grandmother that badly, go volunteer at a nursing home.
Well, if it would be ok for a older man to date younger females (though, even if the genders were swiched around, it would still sound sort of ‘funny’ with an age gap this large) it should be ok for the flip. Why not go for it. Screw anyone who thinks you’re nutty!
It’s you’re life and no one can give you concrete directions to happiness but you
My mother was a master flirt–so much so that it was ingrained in her personality. When she was in her 70s she ‘flirted’ with guys as young as their 20s, but if any of them had taken it seriously, she would have been flattered but utterly flabbergasted. If the lady you speak of is somehow flirting with you, it’s unlikely that she expects you to follow up on it.
Also, since when is smiling at someone you see everyday proof of attraction? I smile at everyone I run into regularly and I’m certainly not attracted to 90% of them.
If you do go out with her, let her bring up the subject of age. A lot of factors could be making her look older than she really is. Does she have the “crepe-y” skin of old age?
Hey London Calling- I may be 34 now, but ever since my 20’s I’ve thought Sean Connery was hot, same with Burt Reynolds (sorry, comes from growing up in the late 70’s!).
There are plenty of great looking older people out there. Sure, it might not be for everyone, but why knock it if both parties are over 21?
Joe Pantoliano fans might remember his show “The Fannelli Boys.” In one episode, Joe was going to scam a nice looking, friendly senior, but ended up quite taken with her.
Accusations of trolling should be emailed to moderators. Snarky insinuations of trolling don’t have a place on the SDMB at all.
If Mr. Zero is attracted to a lady much older than he is, then it’s possibly she is attracted to a man much younger than she is.
I’m very annoyed by all the self-righteous people who feel justified in psychoanalyzing this poor guy because of his attraction. As a general rule in advice/support threads if you don’t have anything supportive or helpful to say, keep quiet.
This is obviously not always true, for questions like “What’s the best rope to hang myself with?” But if Mr. Zero wants to ask out an older woman it’s not hurting anyone and it’s certainly not your place to psychoanalyze him.
Was this whole story a joke? To see who would respond?
Or do you truly have a thing for “Mature” ladies?
(But a 70 yr old vs a 26 yr old, may be taking the fetish a little far)
(BTW - Older People tend to smile at “Everyone”)
So don’t get too comfy with thoughts of wooing her into the land of Denture Adhesive Bliss… just yet.
oooh - eeee - i don’t even know what else to say.
I think maybe you should go to a singles meeting, and sample some of the girls closer to your age, or at least those who aren’t retired and on medicare.
Do I have to put a smiley after every amusing comment I make? My comment about the bridge was a CYA – I don’t mind helping someone with a real question, but I can’t help but have my suspicions about the OP. Normally I’d just ignore a post from a troll. In this case, I had reasonable doubts, so I offered a possible explanation for her behavior. I also followed up with a suggestion – recommending that he engage her in conversation. I certainly wasn’t irritable or short-tempered about it.
There are such things as beautiful 70 year old ladies. My Nan (now 77) has always been an attractive lady, and has always liked hanging out with (and gently flirting with) the lads. She’s good company, too.
Maybe it won’t be a dating thing. Maybe it won’t be a romantic thing. But they can certainly hang out together, have a laugh and a joke and spin a good yarn together and maybe a harmless little flirt. A crush can turn into a friendship, y’know.
Don’t ask her out, as such. Just wave to her, and say hi, and chat. Be friendly. That’s how my Nan manages to have a cubic assload of friends.
(hey, I do like being the first to answer a post)!!
