The opposite of cuckold is cuckquean.
Now you know!
But then why tell that specific lie? I don’t know about other people, but I would respond with something vague like “I’m busy then” or “Sorry, I can’t” rather than tell a specific lie.
Yeah, the more detail in a lie the less likely that it’ll work out well.
Also, I certainly wouldn’t say ‘next time for sure’ if I didn’t mean it!
Well, some people are better at lying than others! Lol Practice makes perfect after all ; )
Just because I don’t want to go out with my coworkers on a certain day doesn’t mean that I never will. I probably will want to grab a drink the next time they’re going…
You would say that you’re busy even if you weren’t, correct? So it’s still a lie…the argument that people were making earlier is that women should be honest when turning down dates and say that they just aren’t interested in dating that person.
I responded that people are rarely honest when turning down any kind of invitation so it doesn’t make sense to me to give women flak for doing what everyone does.
If you’re saying that you would lie when declining an invitation then you’re agreeing with the point that I was making…the fact that my lie would be more involved than yours is kind of beside the point.
Did you ever see him again? Did he ever invite you to anything else after that? I’m asking because I wouldn’t be surprised if you never heard from him again or you saw him around, but he never invited you to anything else…because some, maybe a lot, of people would interpret your response as rude.
If you married him or he’s been one of your best friends ever since…I guess it just comes down to different people like different things. But, I don’t think it’s outlandish to say that it’s extremely common for people to not give the God’s honest truth when turning down invitations. I don’t see why women should be held to a different standard when turning down dates.
I have read through many of these types of threads on the board for over twenty years with dismay. Why do women want to be with men at all? It seem we cause you much more grief than joy.
Let us be the judge of that.
Most of you aren’t so bad.
I love the men in my life more than I can adequately put into words. I have always had them to counterbalance the assholes. Which is why I get really testy about the “men are scum” brigade. I’ve had some men do really terrible things to me but it never even occurred to me to write off the whole gender. I got in trouble for saying this once, but misandry in response to injustice is just weakness. (ETA: I still believe patriarchy is a thing, but it’s a complicated beast that cannot be reduced to hatred/mistrust of men.)
It’s not men per se, it’s patriarchy. I mean, c’mon, we have here a system that was established for the specific purpose of giving men absolute authority over—and especially, control over the sexual behavior of—their fellow adults who happen to be women.
That built-in power imbalance is an obvious recipe for disaster. You don’t have to be a man-hater to suspect that such a system, once it gets firmly entrenched in all our social history and mores, is going to end up encouraging a lot of men to behave like assholes and causing suffering for a lot of women. That’s very different from believing that all men as human individuals are irredeemably shitty and bad for women.
That said, it is true that more and more women in all age brackets are remaining single these days, despite the persistence of societal pressure on women to “get a man” or be judged a failure in life. For increasing numbers of women, no matter how much they may like or admire certain individual men, constantly having to cope with all the routine sexism built into the social mores of male-female interactions just isn’t worth it. That’s a choice with regard to society, not a specific critique of those men or any other men as individuals.
Because the good ones are good - and its worth putting up with a few assholes rather than writing off half the human race because they are assholes. Sometimes my husband is clueless, but he’s learned a LOT. (The Covid she-session and the amount of additional labor women are doing over men right now - particularly in households with children - is not being lost on him. He has been living with me for over twenty five years - sometimes I think he is a leetle bit slow on the uptake).
But I’ve often said that some of the non-binary gender issues I see in my youngest and their friends is a result of toxic masculinity - not wanting to be defined by these outdated rules, and in the case of young female shaped persons, not wanting to put up with getting treated this way.
Does it work?
Mixed results. But at least you are presenting as someone who is rejecting the traditional objectification of women.
True. There also seems to be a movement towards ‘self-objectification’ by way of OnlyFans and similar. Not sure how healthy that is.
Always has been. IMHO, it isn’t healthy - but a lot of people need external validation in that form.
What I’ve been wondering is whether the unfortunate influence on young people’s sex lives of growing up with easily available hard core porn has something to do with the increase in people identifying as asexual.
I’m not sure how that would affect sexual orientation, but it has been theorized that one reason young people are having less sex is that porn has influenced their enjoyment of it. Mainly, that men are doing what they see in porn vids, that sex is therefore uncomfortable and unpleasant for women, and they are choosing not to have sex instead. (The upshot of this is that maybe the decline of sex is not a bad thing at all, but rather indicates that fewer people are settling for sex they don’t enjoy.)
I think the bigger deal is that Ace has become an identification - its a label that is in more common use than its ever been before. So if you don’t have sexual feelings, you feel less pressure to manufacture them - you can discover that asexuality is a normal part of the human spectrum and find an internet full of people who are all “I really don’t get what the big deal is, I have never felt that way.”
I expect that is a great deal of that. Asexuals who’ve never heard of asexuality would probably be more likely to think they were ‘late bloomers’ or ‘just hadn’t met the right one yet’ or possibly just that there was something Wrong, but probably something they shouldn’t talk about. (Note: I’m not saying that it’s wrong! I’m saying that people who’d never heard anybody talk about it as normal might have thought that it was wrong.)
And until fairly recently there were people (might still be some) who thought it was normal for women to have little or no sex drive, but to just be having sex to please the men and/or to get pregnant. That undoubtedly led in the other direction to some women thinking there was something Wrong with them but they’d better not talk about it.
I’ve heard what you said, plus that erectile dysfunction is becoming more common in young man because they are so used to getting off in a certain way, with the aid of porn, that they have trouble enjoying real life sex.
It’s a bad thing if the decline of sex is due to young people not knowing how to have enjoyable sex, though. Makes me glad to be part of the last generation that grew up before this became common.
I have a friend who’s asexual, and she got together with a guy who feels the same, so that’s nice. I guess I wonder how you know you’re really asexual though. Like, surveys show not all women masturbate, but that doesn’t mean they’re asexual. So it can’t be completely obvious.
It’s complicated by the fact that there are many ways to be asexual. I have a close friend who is a biromantic sex-repulsed asexual. Just the thought of sex makes her nauseated. She’s in love with and engaged to a man who is heterosexual.
But there are also ace people who don’t think of sex or initiate sex but who don’t mind having sex. And there are ace people who don’t mind having sex but have no romantic feelings for anyone.
I’m guessing ace people know they are ace in the same way that gay people know that they are gay. They might, for a time, believe what they feel is normal, and slowly become more aware of how different they feel. My friend figured it out in high school.
Yes, I was referring to the narrower case of a woman baring a child that is conceived by someone other than whom she is married to, and concealing this fact from the husband.
The wider case, which I have heard used, is any ongoing infidelity of which the betrayed spouse is unaware. That can apply to either gender. If the betrayed spouse is aware of the infidelity, I would not use the term “cuckold” (not that I would use that term to refer to a real person, anyway.)