Being a man who has little interest in sex (I’ve realized I’m not asexual. I enjoy sex but I don’t seek it at all, feel tired afterwards, and can forget about it without any feeling of being denied anything), I notice that society treats men and women very differently in this regard.
For men it’s almost like sexuality is static (either they are raging in attraction to men, women and or both) or they have a dysfunction (at least that’s how it’s perceived by society). For women on the other hand, they are seen as less sexual (but I suppose there’s a social pressure for women enjoying sex) but can also it’s accepted now accepted that they can be hypersexual and the total opposite, asexual.
Why do you think this is? I didn’t get much help from my doctor. It took me until 19 to first “get it off” by myself. Went to a doctor numerous times, they tested my testosterone levels and said they were definitely fine. Never really took it seriously. People in my class find it difficult to understand that I was in a relationship and didn’t want much sex.
The reason is probably evolutionary. Men invest far less in procreation than women, so we evolved to crave sex (especially sex with strangers) more than women. Women have more to lose by making a bad decision with sex, so they have more discretion.
I’ve had issues with low libido as a side effects of drugs. I didn’t mind it. I found it relaxing, not being controlled by my dick as much.
There are some other negatives that aren’t being mentioned though.
I know some couples where the woman has a very high libido, and is afraid she will be treated like a nympho for having her urges be so high.
Also in a lot of situations where a relationship is sexless, it is the man who doesn’t want sex but the woman who does. It can be hard for the woman to get support because everyone just automatically assumes the guy has a high sex drive. So they assume the woman did something wrong and blame her for it. Lots of people just assume the woman must be a bitch or ugly if she is in a relationship and the guy doesn’t want sex, they look for ways to blame her. If the relationship roles were reversed and the guy wanted sex and the woman didn’t, people wouldn’t blame the guy like that.
Some of us believe that one’s sex life is private–so would neither discuss being asexual nor which particular individuals one has slept with.
Maybe sexuality is something that grows between two people. (Let’s keep it simple)