Pain of that sort means something is SERIOUSLY wrong.
Don’t they have an emergency number in the UK? Can you call a cab? Friend? Relative?
This is no joke, you NEED to get to medical help RIGHT NOW.
There are no other ideas.
Call the emergency room. Describe what you’re experiencing. They can advise what to do.
Call 999 and get an ambulance. Seriously, they’re 24 hours here, and if you’re on that much pain just do it. If you really don’t want to do that for some reason, phone the 111 non-emergency number for their advice, but I’d be almost certain that they’ll send an ambulance.
Mine was 13 or so years ago. I hurt for a few days afterward, and I would occasionally get a dull ache for a few minutes a year or so after (felt kinda like when my drawers get twisted). During the procedure the first side was fine. Unfortunately, the other side was not quite numb yet. It didn’t feel good, to say the least.
Never had much more than slight discomfort when it was done.
Nothing since. That was 13 years ago.
If anyone was wondering how my nuts feel: They feel fine.
OK, you can stop checking now.
Stop playing with them a GO SEE A DOCTOR NOW!!!
I don’t want some doctor feeling my fine nuts.
As you get older, the probability of having your nuts felt by a doctor approaches 1.
Mine was mostly uneventful. A weekend of dull pain similar to “catching” a football in the groin (but not as bad). The worst part was when my groin hair grew back after being shaved: ITCHY!
The best part was the really cute blonde nurse who prepped me. She liked my sense of humor, anyway. I’d have thought she’d have heard all the jokes, but she said that most men really just think a lot more of “themselves” than they have any reason to. Well, that and spousal gratitude!
Me too! That’s nearly up there with “amateur” or “accidental” !
I had a friend who experienced something like this. I remember he mentioned something about swelling up to the size of a basketball, but I suspect he was bragging.
My husband had one. It looked really funny, but with a bag of frozen peas, he was o.k. after a couple of days. I had a pastor who had one, same thing - frozen peas really help (I cannot tell you how his looked).
I have known quite a few guys who have had them. They are all o.k. after a couple of days.
The only bad thing I have heard about a vasectomy, is my brother’s friend, who went in the morning for the procedure, and that night played in a local baseball game. I heard he was hurtin really bad. 
As I read through this thread, I noticed posters referring to “benefits”. Are there any other benefits besides the obvious one? I understand that the benefits could all be related to each other like 1) sex without a condom, 2) wife doesn’t have to take pill, etc. But were there any others? The reason I ask is that my friend who had the procedure done insists that his lasting power is longer and sex just feels better, like when he was a kid. I assumed it was just psychological.
Of course, not LITERALLY a kid! 
Young adult is probably the better term to use.
Nothing wrong with psychological benefits. The relief of not having to worry about contraception anymore could result in a quite a boost.
Probably. Mine swelled up to not much bigger than a couple of tennis balls. That was enough.
I had a minor infection after the procedure. Antibiotics cleared it up and no complaints since then. 20 some-odd years ago.
As part of my (now ex) wife’s infertility work up I had a complete exam at a teaching institution to rule out problems on my end. That meant (in part) having an intern, resident, clinician, two students, and a fellow (WTF a fellow is was never explained) palpate my balls and document/record their size. This was done by holding a ball in one hand and comparing it to a necklace of various size wooden balls with numbers on them.
They then took turns assessing the health of my prostate. No joke.
And now you know . . the rest of the story.
I feel your pain. I recently went through similar indignity after a series of deeply worrying (but apparently false alarm) ‘mens health’ symptoms.
The vasectomy didn’t hurt. I didn’t. I’ll get to the pain part later. Funny story. My Dad drove me to get mine because my wife was at work. I was a little nervous in the morning and forgot my keys/house key. So I get back after the surgery. I had a cold cut sub, a 6 pack of Sierra Nevada but could not get into my house. I was going to put on a fire and eat my sub, drink my beer and watch T.V… It was snowing and my elderly father had to go to a doctor appointment. God forbid he cancel that. So he leaves and I’m on the front porch walking a little cowboy trying to pick the lock to my front door and/or climb in a window or otherwise break in. Finally I had a eureka moment and dragged a lounge chair into our shed in the back which is attached to our house and is somewhat heated. I filled my CVS bag (antibiotics&pain meds) with snow and pulled down my pants to put the snow bag on my balls, turned on the light and ate my sub, and surged the internet on the phone while I drank my beers. My Dad comes back and can’t find me and walks around the house and sees me through the window with my pants down reading the paper icing.
It was about the only good funny story I have about my vasectomy.
Over a period of 5 years I developed crippling pain that forced me to quit my job, I could not take long car trips, watch movies, sleep through the night and I would wake every morning with horrific groin pain for which nothing helped. The only thing that helped was limiting sitting which is hard to do when you are a programmer/IT guy.
No doctor could help me. My urologists told me it was not the vasectomy and I believed them. I had no idea or thought to ask it was the vasectomy. They told me it was prostatitis. I had horrific burning pain where I was cut and was telling them this and that I woke with burning pain above and behind my testicles and I think they knew but would never admit it. Finally when my left epididymis (back of the left testicle, holds sperm) blew up like a balloon, very painful balloon at year three did I start to suspect my problems were caused by my vasectomy. Things deteriorated over years 4 and 5 even with me trying to do things like use cutout cushions, kneeling chairs standing desks. It got to the point where I was afraid to sleep because I knew the pain was coming. I was missing family functions like weddings etc… It was full blown testicular pain too that radiated up into my groin like I had been racked. Nothing helped. I woke in so much pain I could hardly get up to put my 5 year old on her kindergarten bus. I was crippled. The pain would wake me up from a dead sleep in the middle of the night and my chest felt like my heart was about to explode the burning aching pain was so bad. All cultures negative, no fever or chills. This was full blow post vasectomy pain syndrome.
I know most guys don’t have a problem. I wish I was one of them. Honestly, I would be one of these chest thumpers on here and would love to be able to joke about it like my best friend and do the vasectomy schtick.
The only thing that helped was a vasectomy reversal at year 5. I waited too long to do it and am still pretty messed up from it. The pain is still there but it went from an 8 to about a 2 and sometimes goes up to 3-4. The reversal cost 8500 out of my own pocket. It was the only thing that gave me any relief at all. You can’t tell me that the vasectomy did not cause me my pain. I had about 9 1/2 good months after the reversal but the pain started coming back somewhat then and has me out of my mind with panic again. I think I may have scarred down on the left again. It sucks worse than you can possible imagine.
The fact is it has ruined my life. My married life has been destroyed. We hardly ever have sex and had a close relationship before. We weren’t setting records but not a week would go by that we didn’t do it at least once. She probably has suffered as bad or worse than me.
If you have not had a vasectomy, look on the NHS website for information. In the UK they have single payer government provided healthcare and the full costs of vasectomy realized by all. They have no reason to lie or try to sell a vasectomy. According to NHS 1 in 10 men will develop chronic scrotal pain after vasectomy. That’s long lasting/permanent discomfort. In the US the American Urological Association now put’s that figure at 2% and recommends all urologists that perform vasectomy put that information in the informed consent document for vasectomy. Previously that had not done this. I asked my doctor specifically about pain and he told me 1 in a 1000, “no not 1 in a thousand, I’ve never seen it…” he says. He did me no favors.
I wish it had worked out for me but it has been a disaster.
I’m looking at denervation surgery this fall to finally get out of pain. I dread going to work not because of the work itself but because of my chair. I use a standing desk but need to sit sometimes as standing all day makes it hard to concentrate.
Just get educated. Go into it knowing the odds of pain. Do your research and that way you won’t be bitter about being lied to or manipulated. Also don’t let your wife guilt you into. If there is any anger or coercion you will end up resenting her and she will end up feeling very guilty if you develop chronic pain.
I’m not a religious nut or anti-woman.
Get educated.