Now now, let’s stop ganging up on Sara. Everyone single one of us guys has lamented at one point about how women only care about assholes and workout studs. It’s only fair that the women have these same gripes about us.
Okay, Sara, here’s the deal. Yeah, we look at all the stuff you mention. That’s how we’re wired. We do get confused, sometimes, because we can’t tell what the hell you women want. Too hard or flippant, we’re assholes; to sensitive and we’re weak or smothering. We’ve got a very thin rope to walk here.
If you want to make it easier for us, then make it abundantly clear that you’re interested. Don’t expect us to be able to even find our asses with both hands and a map. Trust me, most of us can’t. (And no, we won’t ask for directions for this either.) Suggesting you and your target do something, or even straight out asking us out on a date is not forbidden, and I think you’ll be surprised at the results. A guy’s got a lot of work ahead of him in getting this stuff going, and every little bit you help him just ends up coming back to you. It may be that this blonde gives him a little more encouragement than you do; no matter how much of a connection there is between you two, he may still only see the connection as a friendship. And it’s a commonly accepted fact among guys that girls won’t date their friends. This isn’t an accepted fact among women, though, so you may need to prove to the guy that, yes, you are capable of seeing him as a virile chunk of manhood that gives you the screaming thigh sweats, and not just the guy who you grab a pizza and beer with.
You’ve got nothing to worry about with your looks. I’ve seen your picture here before, and I’ve got a hunch that there may be one or two guys who have been trying to get your attention while you’ve been getting frustrated about this guy. Judging from your descpription, you’ve got whiplash curves; coupling that with your face gives me the idea that you’re not going to be long for the single world in any case.
Sorry Sarah…Looks like you and I both belong at the “deep end of the pool”. I’ve often wondered myself why some of my men friends that I know to be intellegent, kind, and otherwise full of common sense, will flip over some stone head hoochie mama. What really gets me is that I can see them wanting to que up with the rest of the male population and get a piece but then they go and do really stupid stuff like fall in love, or lust or whatever it is that makes their brain go stagnant.
There is nothing wrong with my looks either. Never has been. And I will say that once in my life I had a boyfriend that actually preferred brunettes with a sense of humor. Also and this is really more personal than I’d like to get on this board. My current boyfriend, a professed blond lover, is very, very pleased with our relationship right now. He says that he shouldn’t have let his eye fool is dick quite so often. (To be blunt) If he’d have known that burnettes were anything like me. (Isn’t he sweet for saying so. But according to him I rocked his world!) But he still gets all ga-ga over a blond with big hard tits that don’t move. Not to mention a TALL blond. What’s with that? Girl’s gotta be 6 feet tall to get noticed. I know it’s the leg thing. The long legs, but geez, my legs are long enough for someone that’s 5’6".
I know where you’re coming from, just don’t expect it to change. Keep your standards up anyway. You don’t actually want one of those guys. Let them keep swimming in the shallow end of the pool.
Like was mentioned earlier. That’s just how we men are wired. I certainly am. However, I’ll bet money that 10 seconds after she’s passed he barely remembers her. Most of the time it’s just a knee-jerk reaction. Unfortunately, most women think that ‘jerk’ is the operative word. And there are times when a guy will react the same way to a hot car. Hell, I love my car… Nice soft leather… Handles great… Gets where I want to go fast… (hmmm, sounds like my girl)… But still doesn’t mean I don’t look at another car, and wonder what it’d be like to be behind the wheel… Then the light turns green and we’re off… And the feeling for my car hasn’t changed. I know the analogy is bit flawed… But mainly because my car doesn’t turn off it’s engine because I appreciate fine lines.
So, a while back I started working in this gay bar. I’m a (at least fifty percent of the time) straight guy. I loved working there, and one thing that just didn’t wear on me was the fact that customers were always (usually in some vague drunken attempt to get into my pants) telling me how gorgeous I am. I’m not, but hey, hearing this night in night out from all the boys and their faghags did crazy things for my confidence.
I became cocky, much more flirtatious and more assholish in bar situations. And what did I find? Venturing out to the straight bars, shoot, ten or fifteen minutes after arriving I’ll end up with girls coming over and hitting on me. People read confidence. People (boys and girls) just like bastards better.
You figure it out.
Oh yeah, Nacho, if you are fifteen, then don’t sweat it with the guys. If you want a nice sensitive boy (who will it must be said, require some training) then go for the stoners. They’re almost universally good kids, and they rarely get into fights.
My husband’s not exactly Mel Gibson… well, ok, his face doesn’t make small children cry, but he’s not gonna make the cover of GQ unless it’s for horror characters without makeup or masks. He’s also got a bit of a paunch and his hygiene is occasionally lacking. Oh, yeah, and he’s got a hairy butt and back, too.
That said for his physical appearance, I am NUTS about him. Why? It’s not the money he makes or the things he does for me. He really does make me laugh, and he’s easy to talk to, and he doesn’t seem to care that I’m not exactly Julia Roberts myself. He’s even willing to put up with some of my less desirable personality quirks. And he’s employed, honest, and doesn’t cheat.
He’s not perfect, not by a long shot. But, he’s my Mr. Right
The point is, is that a good relationship is a lot more than looks. I feel bad for my friends and acquaintances who go for Fabio when they’d be happiest with Dilbert.
But since this is the Pit, I am obligated to say this: Fuck men, the rotten goat-felching putzes!
My SO tells me that as a man gets older, the physical stuff gets less important. Sure, he’d love to go screw every woman who turns him on, but he also says it’s a purely physical thing. The thought of actually having to talk to 99% of the blond bimbo types is enough to keep him in the “just looking” stage.
He also freely admits that in his 20’s to mid-30’s, this was NOT true. He actually started dating the woman he eventually married (and eventually divorced…) solely because his previous girlfriend wasn’t great looking, and (in his words) he wanted a “10”.
My advice is to start looking at the older guys. You’ll get less of the bimbo reflex, they’re usually nicer, less chance of testosterone poisoning, and more emotionally, financially, and mentally stable. Plus, they’re great in bed.
Fake breasts look fantastic but they feel like crap compared to the real thing. Keep 'em natural gals…MUCH better that way and I, for one, couldn’t give a crap if they’re big or small! It’s the total package that counts (ever scope out a hot bod from behind only to shudder at what you see when they turn around? [this goes for guys and gals]).
My 2 cents:
I’m 34, male, NOT pretty, hairy, weigh 310 lbs.(at 6’4"), and smell BAD, and have little prospects of being able to support a family on my meagre income… but I have met the perfect woman! We have been together for 4 years, and will be married next year. Love is truely blind! My fiancee, for the record, is 28, 110 lbs., EXTREMELY sexy (amazing, but true!), 34-26-38, and so perfectly in tune with me that we can finish each other’s sentences… we live in a wonderous world!
Never give up! There IS someone for you!! Trust me!
Sarah’s fifteen?!?!?!?! Honest, yer honor, I had no idea! She sounds twenty-five!
Spooje’s so right when he says that we’re complete sluts. And Flyp’s right about our cluelessness. Here is a vital bit of information if any of you want to understand and manipulate men, for love, sex, or just to make a sale:
Subtlety does not work!
Ask the guy out. Tell him exactly what you want. Then lead him by the hand and show him. Take photographs to help him remember. Assembly drawings help, but he won’t read the instructions.
I have a friend who’s not a great beauty, is not slender, is not blonde, is not tall. She never lacked boyfriends when she was single. What was her secret?
“Whenever I think I need to go on a diet to attract a guy I just undo another button on my blouse. Works every time.”
And this works if you are NOT busty, too! Straight guys like tits! ALL tits! Big, little, in between. Again, we’re just wired that way.
I am surprised Sara herself hasn’t posted again to address this issue that has been raised here a couple times. Someone mentioned she is 15, well I am positive I have seen her say she is 19. I never read the thread where she mentioned a driver’s permit, so I can’t comment on that, but I have read on more than one occassion where she said her age was 19.
My wife is tall, beautiful, long legged and still fits into size 4/6 clothes despite the fact that she’s given birth to our two children. She’s an absolutely fabulous mother and wife, has a university degree and is a published author. I love her personality as do our friends and family. (To this day I don’t know why she’s chose me… but I digest…)
I guess, according to you, I should never have wanted to date her let alone marry the woman. According to you I should have scouted all the size 10+ women because they are far more deserving of attention. According to you there is some kind of universal law that states that beauty is inversely proportional to personality. I know, perhaps we should invoke some kind of affirmative action when it comes to dating because less than beautiful women get less than their share of attention compared to the blond bombshell archetype.
And since this is The Pit - fuck you and the moral high horse you rode in on. Any sociologist worth his weight in salt will explain to you why men, in general, go after the most desireable women. It’s genetic. Those women who can attract the most men are perhaps the better equiped genetically/physically to promote their own geneology. Think about that while you are swimming in that gene pool of yours.
Of course I could be wrong. It’s happened once before.
Well, I for one am not one of those blonde bimbo types. I am a natural brunette who had to get my hair blonde for a show I’m currently in. I noticed that men seem to think I’m suddenly easy now. I like the way it looks on me… but I don’t think I want to stay this color forever. I have real boobs, am not a size 2, and I don’t have big hair. Don’t want to be either. I think the entire thing comes from being happy with yourself and not compairing yourself to other gals. I’m far from perfect but I am a damn good woman. I am much more important than being eyecandy… I’m someone that can hold a fun and engaging conversation… someone who even after many years… is never boring I’m also not what you would consider a “typical” woman. I talk about sex, I dont care if i break a nail. I am forthcoming about what I want, I’m opinionated. I see what I want and I go for it. I consider any man fortunate to be with me. I don’t NEED a man, I want a man to share my life with. I’m also damned fun I think I put forth that attitude also… I have never lacked for male attention or dates.
If there is someone you like… then for Gods sake… ASK HIM OUT. Don’t sit around waiting for them to come to you, girlfriend. The worst thing that can happen is that he could say no. You already said he is your friend… so he isn’t going to insult you or do anything nasty to you. Trust me… sometimes love with a good/best friend is really really great Maybe he really likes you too but doesn’t want to approach you…
My theory is this… they play with the bimbos… they are cheap and easy sex… they are eye candy and the trophy to show off to their buddies. This usually lasts through their 20’s and early 30’s when most men are NOT interested in long term serious relationships. Then, hopefully, around age 35ish…they grow up and figure out what’s important. When it comes down to a real lasting relationship… these are NOT the gals they bring home to mom and dad.
As a married, middle aged, slightly paunchy, ponytailed, professional, pierced, with tattoos, a non-cheap grease dripping motorcycle guy, I’d like to point out that it’s the "Bad boy, living on the edge, syndrome, that SOME women need to explore. Trust me, my marriage of 21 years almost didn’t make it last May due to my wife falling victim this.
Sara, Don’t sweat it, there are alot of guys who appreciate a woman for being her natural self. A smile, sense of humour, and a good personality goes a long way in my book compared to all those ‘enhanced, plastic , gold-digging bitches who’s shit doesn’t stink.’
later, Tom.
Ummm, QuickSilver, I believe Sara said “Why do perfectly normal, decent men lose their minds over women with nothing to offer but a nice body?”. You listed several qualities besides looks that you admire in your wife. Would you have married her if she looked the same, but was not very intelligent, cared for nothing but her appearence, and had a bad personality? I think it’s those types that we’re talking about.
And no, not every beautiful woman (or man) is a shallow bitch. But I’ve known more than my share of 'em, and I’d guess most people have.
But still doesn’t mean I don’t look at another car, and wonder what it’d be like to be behind the wheel… Then the light turns green and we’re off… And the feeling for my car hasn’t changed. I know the analogy is bit flawed… But mainly because my car doesn’t turn off it’s engine because I appreciate fine lines.
I’m also not what you would consider a “typical” woman. I talk about sex, I dont care if i break a nail. I am forthcoming about what I want, I’m opinionated. I see what I want and I go for it. I consider any man fortunate to be with me. I don’t NEED a man, I want a man to share my life with. I’m also damned fun