The title explains it all. This is the worst Christmas ever.
Did the fire kill the lice?
The title tells us nothing, Mosier. Details? Anything to add? Or are you just going to leave us with visions of fried lice?
Where do I go to claim these gifts? If I send you my address, will you mail them to me? I have been running low on lice lately.
I keel you like dog,
Woody
Was the fire gift wrapped, or put in your stocking?
I don’t want to know how you got the lice.
“Fire and Lice” was the name of an ill-fated sitcom about an arsonist who scratched himself a lot.
Pee-Wee Herman was to star in his first major dramatic role, but bugged out at the last minute.
Let me guess: your lice put up a little Christmas tree on top of your head and the faulty wiring from the cheap Chinese lights they used started a fire that burned off all your hair?
Lord, I’ve seen fire and I’ve seen lice
I’ve seen a Simpsons show with the voice of Vincent Price
I’ve seen lonely days when I could not give a shit
But I always knew I’d see nonsense in the Pit.
Is this the got-'em-at-day-care-Mom-goes-totally-apeshit lice or the naughty bit lice?
His dog had the lice, and he was using an electric lice comb, which caught on fire and he ended up burning he dog.
Could be worse - a friend of mine invited family over for Christmas, who brought their scabies-infected spawn of Satan…soon, all the carpet had to be torn up, and new furniture bought. Then they used the tumble dryer so much when they were cleaning up clothes and such that it caught on fire (later causing their home insurance company to drop them like a Chernobyl fuel rod).
Some say Christmas will end in fire,
Some say in lice.
If the fault lies with a wire,
Then I suppose the answer’s fire.
But there is a certain spice
To sadly, madly scratching
At a nasty case of lice
Caught from matching
Santa hats (bought at Walmart, half-price).
Learn to swim… learn to swim…
Best thread title I’ve seen in awhile. Okay, what about: dog bites christmas lights, lights short out, causing dog to catch on fire, lice also catch fire and jump ship, causing secondary fires, house goes up in flames, FEMA gets called in, President Bush frowns from a helicopter. What do I win?
Mosier–do you need help?
With fire AND lice, what more could you need?
Rhythym? Music? My girl?
Morphine.
So, are you going to re-gift?
*We three kings of Orient are
Bearing lice we traverse afar
Field and fountain, moor and mountain
Following yonder fire
O fire of wonder, fire of night
Fire with royal beauty bright
Westward leading, still proceeding
Guide us to thy Perfect Light*
Best laugh today, thanks.