Mosier, I’m with Bosda - come back and let us know you’ve got a roof over your head, please.
My condolences on the mess you’re facing, however bad it may be. Even a “good” electrical fire is never pleasant, and that goes double for lice.
Ask if there’s a gift receipt.
I always give gift cards. That way, people can choose lice they like.
I’m not sure which to report first: NORAD spotting Santa over northern Canada or PACOM reporting Godzilla approaching San Francisco Bay…
I have advised people to use fire to get rid of lice but I was joking.
Mmmmmm fried lice! (Oh wait, you’re not talking about Chinese food are you?)
Better than fried semen.
I might have been. 
Lice would have less sodium content than semen, surely? Healthier for the heart, and all that.
Just for the record, the electrical fire and lice are unrelated. My son got a small, manageable lice infection, but we had assumed the nasty rash on my wife’s neck that has been developing for a week was an allergic reaction to a new brand of shampoo. I was spared the lice, but it pretty much ruins your day if anyone in the family gets it.
The electrical fire wasn’t as dramatic as it sounds, but it fried the power transformer for my laptop and made a hell of a light show. It arced through the rubber insulation and scared the living piss out of me.
We probably already have, unintentionally. Whoops!
Lucky bastard. I got Soap-on-a-Rope.
Fi-ire and lice,
Fi-ire and lice,
Everyone wishes for
Fi-ire and lice.
How do you measure their worth?
By the burns and the itches
they give here on Earth…
A girl named Sarah?
Mosier, what the hoo-hah is goin’ on?
I do truly hope that the lice haven’t spread to anyone’s hoo-hah …
And the Moguera Team in Japan stands down…
Anyone who reads George R. R. Martin knows that a Song of Fire and Lice takes years to complete, if ever.
It took Mosier only 10 hours to fight his way back through the debris to let us know. He must know the shortcuts, then.
Mosier, I’m sorry for your troubles. But this is the funniest thread I’ve read in a while. Thanks for the laugh on Christmas day. And I hope things get better for you. 