Tis the season, you know.
Fortunately for us here at the SDMB, we’ve got our own prophet! Mnementh, I’m told, has been placed here to deliver each and every one of us a Very Special Message straight from the Gilded Throne. Well, actually from the Very Special Entity sitting (if in fact, sitting is what you’d call it) on that Very Same Gilded Throne (which may or may not be a throne).
Mnementh, prophet to the Teeming Millions, deliver the word of Gaaaaaaawd!
What is my message?
What am I, some kind of divine Fortune Cookie? Show your respect, MORTAL!
Your message, by the way, from the Very Special Entity Who, In Fact, Tends to Recline More Than Sit On the Gilded Lay-Z-Boy, is thus:
“Stop! Just stop! I’m not having a party! You’re not welcome here! Quit screaming that you’re coming!”
Mnementh, what’s my message from God?
Talk to me, God 
Dear Mnementh,
I humbly come seeking thine divine goodness and ask that thou bestowest upon me through thy faithful servant, Mnementh, that whilst thou wouldst have mine ears to hear.
(I suspect that that message will be “quit trying to do an awful parody of English from a previous time.” )
First, VSEW,IF,TTRMTSONGLZB (or Vizzy, as I like to call him) would like it known that he’s less a ‘God’ than just a guy. An all-powerful guy, but a guy still. Y’know, equality and all that. So Vizzy is fine.
Secondly, Jess, Vizzy would have me tell you the following:
“You’re not vicious. Or malicious! Just de-lovely. And delicious. mmmm.”
Hey, I never claimed he was a strictly moral deity…
And for Chique:
“Your teeth are straight and attractive. [sub]What do you mean, that’s not her? She’s not green, either? dammit![/sub]”
Er, he’ll get back to you once he’s sobered up.
lel, dahlink, His Vizzness has this to say:
“Awful parodies of English from a previous time remind me of the old days, when I could smite without fear of a lawsuit. Ah, the good old days… The Remote Control of the Fates is hereby pointed at you, and ‘bless’ is pressed. Go in peace.”
Watch for the Shiny Red Beam of Good Joy to hit you in the forehead. Don’t worry, it doesn’t sting much.
OK, so what’s my message?
What’s my message, oh prophet of the Very Special Entity Who, In Fact, Tends to Recline More Than Sit On the Gilded Lay-Z-Boy?
I’m all ears.
AbsolutelyStark: “Put on some clothes. Noone needs to see that.”
Hey, don’t look at me. You asked for it. Unless you’re Stark something else. But then you’d have some ‘splainin’ to do. And the Viz’ is busy watching the Immortal Channel, so I don’t know that you want to do that.
Oh great Mnementh
(thorry about the lithsp, my tongue is stuck to light pole outside my window, my tongue’s pretty stretchy, ain’t it?)
My gf and I had to break up because of her thinking I was seeing someone else. By seeing, I mean seeing in the nude.
So…,
instead of another tall blonde, can I get a petite little red head, like the kind that just makes me shiver in my groin when slow dancing with her at my business partner’s wedding?
Ooops, did I just admit to something?
Your servant, NoClueBoy
In carniverousplant’s name… eggman
Hey Mnementh, can you do me a favor? Pass this along to the big guy:
Like, Almight God, remember that time in the third grade, when I prayed really hard, and did all my chores, and helped mom around the house, and was nice to my sisters, and just wanted a Lego pirate ship for Christmas? Remember how I got socks and underwear instead? Um, well, that kinda sucked.
Not that I’m mad or anything. It’s all bygones be bygones and stuff. But it still kinda sucked. . . Amen.
Thanks Mnem. I owe ya, buddy.
Tripler
Gawd and that fat guy in red: whatta racket.
Blackeyes: “Cool, did you get in a fight or something? Check this out, when I was only 12,000 I got in this huge fight with Zeus. Back then he was called Phil, though, and we…”
You’ve set off his oldtimer reflex. Run. For the love of… Viz, RUN!
ultrafilter: “No you’re not! I see at least one leg in there. Oh, and a filter. A good one.”
Can’t put anything past him. No sirree.
Wow. So the Big Guy says I’m de-lovely and delicious. Who am I to argue?
I just can’t believe he didn’t comment on my rack instead of my. . . flavor. Or something.
NoClueBoy: “Dilemmas, eh? I’m not sure you need my help, if you’ve got a redhead slowdancing with your jiggling groin while you’re stuck to a lamppost. I mean, c’mon. That’s skill. I’m just sitting around, for Phil’s sake. Hey, get ME a redhead and I’ll let you play with the Remote Control of the Fates. For like, an hour. But what’s with this eggman crap, anyway?”
Do you know what you can do with that remote, man? I say, hook the big guy up.
Tripler: “Hey, is this a prayer or a griping service? Do you even want the ship anymore, or are you just whining to me because the red guy stiffed you? Will a rocket launcher fix it? Because that’d be cool. I get to watch whatever you do with it.”
Hey, because destruction is fun, even to a deity!
And Jess, his deitiness wants you to know that he read on the Internet somewhere that women like subtle Entities. But having seen that fail, he further wants you to know that he was too busy looking down your shirt to come up with anything better, and he apologises, and offers to make it up to you with a… private… visit to the Really Big Gamesroom in the Sky.
Yea, for you were with me when I discovered the divinity of beer, so shall you witness the mayhem as I play with RDX. O Lord, you are so infinitely wise. . .
Tripler
Ignore all that bad talk. I was just jealous.
I thought he was the All Knowing?
I cannot believe God would be so bold as to suggest that I want to join him in the Really Big Gamesroom in the Sky. :eek:
It must be pointed out at this time that the Viz, despite being all-knowing, is still a male deity.
Women, ergo, are therefore still surrounded by a veil of mystery. And it’s not just because of the confusing amounts of beer, either.
I would like to challenge Viz to a beer-drinking contest in New York City, Mnem. Do you think you can arrange that?
Sweet. Vizz sounds just like a guy I knew. I liked him a lot, too.
Does he control the remote, too?