Michael Jackson Joke Roundup!

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

Even before this latest scandal, I just couldn’t get enough Michael Jackson jokes. And I’ve seen a lot of good ones lately, including some on various threads here. So, let’s put them all in one place. If you know one, post it!

(And if you’re easily offended by this kind of humor, please don’t read further…)

I just put this one in the “Candlelight vigil” Pit thread:

[quote]
Well, I heard that Elton John is going to cut a record to raise money for Michael Jackson’s legal defense. Much like he did with his remake of Candle in the Wind in honor of Princess Diana, he’s going to remake one of his older songs for Michael Jackson. It will be called:

Don’t Let Your Son Go Down on Me…

And a classic I put in another thread:

What do Michael Jackson and shoe polish have in common?

They both come in little cans.

2

What’s Michael Jackson and WalMart have in common?

Boys Underwear - Half-Off

a quick question - is it true that R. Kelly produced MJ’s latest album? I cannot find confirmation but I think I heard it somewhere.

3

Q: When is it time to go to bed at Neverland?

A: When the big hand touches the little hand

4

What’s the difference between Michael Jackson and a grocery bag?

One is white, made out of plastic, and dangerous for kids to play with and the other you carry your groceries in !!

What do you do if Michael Jackson is drowning?

Throw him a buoy !!

He asked his wife’s doctor how soon after the birth could
he have sex.

The doctor told him he should wait until the kid is at least
12 or 13 years old.

The Pope has issued a proclamation on Michael Jackson. If he hears any more allegations about little boys, the Pope says he’ll have no choice but to make him a priest.

5

Why was Michael Jackson kicked out of the Boy Scouts?

He was up to two packs a day.

6

What is Micael Jackson’s favorite college?

Bringham Young

7

Here is a whole page of MJ jokes.

Enjoy!

http://www.pasteeaters.com/funny_jokes/Michael_Jackson_Jokes.asp

8

Knock knock

Who’s there?

Little Boy Blue

Little Boy Blue who?

Michael Jackson

9

What’s the difference between Neil Armstrong and Michael Jackson?

[Spoiler]Neil Armstrong Walked on the moon

and

Michael Jackson has sex with little boys[/Spoiler]

10

:smiley:

Q: What does Michael Jackson consider a perfect 10?

A: Two 5 year olds!

11

I was so shocked to see MJ dangling that young child over the railings…He normally tosses them off

12

What do Michael Jackson and a Big Mac have in common?
Both involve 45-year-old meat in between two nine-year-old buns.
What’s the worst stain to try and remove from a little boy’s underpants?
Michael Jackson’s makeup

13

What do Michael Jackson and acne have in common?

They both cum on the faces of 14 year old boys!

14

OK Guin, now you are going to hell for that one. :smiley:
Crayola will release a new novelty color: “Michael Jackson’s black”.

It turns grayer and then whiter the longer you use it.
[sub](I am going too, but at least I will have good company)[/sub] :wink:

15

Q: Why does Michael like to have sex with twenty five year olds?

A: Because there’s twenty of them!!

16

Where’s Michael going on holiday?

He’s off to Tampa with the kids

17

Did you hear Johnny Cochrane is going to defend Michael Jackson?
He plans to use the “If it doesn’t fit, you must aquit” defense.

18

[snl]Heh. Did you hear? Michael Jackson went to K-mart because… there was a sale!!! hah hah[/snl]

19

What do Santa and Michael Jackson have in common?

They’re the same…they both leave little boys rooms with empty sacks.

Did you hear that Michael Jackson and Tanya Harding are going into Horse Betting together?

She’ll handle the handicapping and he’ll handle the three year olds.

20

Why does Michael Jackson speak in such a high voice?
It’s the little boy inside him.