Microrants -- a challenge

Fellow Dopers,

Brevity being the soul of wit, your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to rant on the subject of your choice, but to do so in eight words or fewer.

For example:

Slime-filled Kleenexes? What the fuck is “balm”?

[Eight words - note that “slime-filled” counts as two words]

Rants can be specific (“Dubya is dumber than snack food”), general (“You all suck”), hackneyed (“The mods are all fascist bastards!”) or unique (“My toenails look like alien lifeforms!”).

Creativity is encouraged. Obscenity and exclamation marks are optional. Smileys are not counted as words but should be used judiciously (as always).

Go for it.

[High-pitched British accent]

I don’t like Spam!






Read title as Micronauts: don’t laugh you bastards!


Thank you, Father Ted fans. Now piss off. :wink:

That would be an ecumenical matter.

My neck is sunburned. It hurts. That’s it.

Drank flaming Everclear Friday. Too stupid to live.

Bloody, bloody, bloody, bloody, bloody, bloody, bloody ignorance.


No Yankees baseball on TV. Fucking Steinbrenner.

I WANT A CIGARETTE! Damn generic nicotine patches.

Gonna plagiarize from the web? Remove HTML links.

(fuck, one of my students tried this this year. Fuckwit… did she think I wouldn’t be able to tell? Left LINKS in, complete with blue font and underlining, for crissakes!)

CREATIVE? ***ME?!***Silly thought!
Like thruthful Clinton…NOT!

Damn, you’re showing your age. So am I.

I fucking hate those fucking forces of evil.

Take this job and shove it!

Severence Package?