Brevity being the soul of wit, your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to rant on the subject of your choice, but to do so in eight words or fewer.
Slime-filled Kleenexes? What the fuck is “balm”?
[Eight words - note that “slime-filled” counts as two words]
Rants can be specific (“Dubya is dumber than snack food”), general (“You all suck”), hackneyed (“The mods are all fascist bastards!”) or unique (“My toenails look like alien lifeforms!”).
Creativity is encouraged. Obscenity and exclamation marks are optional. Smileys are not counted as words but should be used judiciously (as always).
Go for it.