Grow a spine or open your damn wallet, geez.
OP has my sympathies and I can understand the appeal of a minimalist dinner without a big production (though my family goes big and everyone seems to be happy, including the womenfolk who kind of fight over who “gets” to cook and clean up).
Given we have a fair number of non-U.S. posters who can probably identify with family holiday melodrama but not with this “Bob Evans” of which the OP speaks, as an F.Y.I. – it’s kind of like a Shoney’s, or Cracker Barrel.
No, wait, that didn’t do you much good.
http://bobevans.com/Menu/Carryout
It’s a suburban/highway casual American food eatery. The meal the OP describes would be right in their wheelhouse.
And lest you think Bob Evans is some horrible pit of inedible food from the handful of posts saying “that sounds so sad” – don’t be misled. It’s perfectly serviceable, perhaps somewhat bland, usually decently-prepared and tasty enough. I’ve eaten there dozens of times, never had a meal I hated (and as with any mid-to-inexpensive range restaurant, use your common sense if a menu item seems too ambitious for a non-haute-cuisine kitchen to pull off reliably – I generally avoid seafood, for instance, in places like this).
Haha, what are you talking about?!
I’d be the bad cop if anyone were in this situation.
But for the record, since you asked, my wife and I are 100% in agreement both in sentiment and analysis of the situation. She’s read this thread, for example.
I find this incomprehensible, but so does MIL apparently…
It’s supposed to be about the family comraderie, not the food source. Ain’t it?
Exactly all of the above, except I’m not sure I’d say MIL is a spoiled brat. She’s set in her ways, let’s say.
The way we saw it, the ceremonies weren’t central to the purpose of the visit.
Well… there’s a history here, that probably need not be discussed in detail here. Suffice to say, my main concern, in the end, is to keep the peace, whatever that may entail.
I believe, in this case, that this is going to involve MIL and I cooperating in the kitchen, MIL paying for anything over $20 (I’m going to insist on this if it becomes an issue but I think it won’t now that things have had a chance to settle in) and wife resting and playing with kids and helping in kitchen as she damn well pleases. This way, each of us gets something, and everyone’s happy(?).
Yup, but you know, family, etc.
Funny thing my MIL did–when wife came home from work today, MIL said “So, Frylock was saying you might want me to cook Christmas dinner.”
You know, somehow that comes out sounding more evil than it seemed at the time when she said it. Hrm…
(But to be clear, wife had previously been informed of the entire actual conversation MIL and I had. We just backed away and pretended not to hear or something. Like I said–history.)
It’s not about spines or wallets. It’s about keeping things as peaceful and enjoyable as possible. (Which, come to think of it, requires both spine and wallet on occasion so…)
Hrm, no, she hasn’t read the thread.Rather, she’s been fully apprised of its content. Sorry about that…
MIL isn’t clueless, she is controlling and passive aggressive. Best to deal with it now, cause it will only increase. Trust me, I’ve been there.
You guys like Bob Evans?
Hey, get one of these and some paper plates and you’ll never have to cook or clean again. Just order a new case of product every week or two.
Link safe for work but not arteries.
Is there any way you could just let her make dessert?
Does she have a specialty dessert, some kind of pie or cake that she’s famous for? Have her just make that and tell her how wonderful she is for making it. Praise it to the heavens.
That way, no high level kitchen ops beginning at 0 dark thirty. Minimal mess. And she’ll secretly appreciate not having to work so damned hard.
And you gots young’uns. They lurves anything with sugar in it.
That’s a great idea.
All the best advice in the thread tied up in one neat solution.
Dear MIL:
I know you’d love to make a traditional dinner for the family this year but you know that even though wifey shouldn’t be on her feet she won’t be able to stop herself from trying to help you. We’re going to go back to our ordering in plan for dinner but since I know you want to do something special for her and the kids why don’t you make your famous x. It will be a great addition and feel more like Christmas for everyone. Just let me know what you need and I’ll make sure it’s here and ready for you.
Love always,
Frylock
Yeah, I’m thinking about doing that. I think it may work…
There’s nothing “sad” about the OP’s original plans. Holiday gatherings are for people to be together and to enjoy whatever they have. It’s really horrible for someone—especially your own damn mother—to get all shirty about your wanting to simplify a holiday meal for the sake of convenience when you’re freaking pregnant.
And I don’t blame the OP for “not having balls” or whatever stupid bit of macho bullshit. Sometimes it’s valid to just expect other people to behave graciously and understandingly without putting pressure on you.
With all respect for others’ cultures and traditions, take out on Christmas is just … sad. Part of the holidays is dancing around the kitchen to the aroma of cinnamon and sugar cookies, looking for the second colander, raising eyebrows at the ground cloves, sipping just a little bit too much wine, while one woman gets annoyed, another gets panicked, and a third stations herself by the sink washing out the colander and other kitchen equipment, …
and all three suddenly realize everything with a Y-chromosome is sitting in the living room, farting on the couch and bitching because they can’t get to the refrigerator to get another beer.
Screw it, order out.
And Moonlitherial for the win!
“Why are you giving me a letter? I’m standing right here.”
“Because if I actually speak to you I’ll have a stroke.”