So, friday night I was at this party with a bunch of friends from work and some ex-colleagues. One of the ex-colleagues was a gorgeous woman who I’d hardly said two words two while she was here (I was engaged at the time).
As the drink flowed and the evening wore on, she came told me that I had “nice, tight buns”. My brain went “Whoo-hoo! - She likes my ass!”, but I can’t remember the exact words that came out of my mouth - probably something devastatingly witty and debonair, I’m sure.
Anyway, as the evening progressed, she made several further comments about the shapeliness and firmness of my butt, and by the end of the night we’d swapped phone numbers. I gotta tell ya, I was in a pretty good mood all weekend!
When I came in to work this morning and started chatting about the party with one of buddies, he told me that this woman was seeing someone and was actually living with him. Damn, but that burst my bubble quick! I couldn’t understand why she’d lead me on that way if she was already involved with someone. So when I asked a female colleague of mine who knew the girl, she said:
“Oh, she wouldn’t have been doing anything dodgy, she was probably just being friendly”.
Friendly?!!?! WTF? It felt a bit more than friendly at the time, dammit. I hate it when women do that. Why tease and flirt when you’ve already got a guy at home? It’s possible that I just misread the signs, but I really don’t think I’m that clueless.
So what gives? Is she wrong or am I overreacting?
Mind you, any day when a beautiful woman compliments me on my ass is still a good day as far as I’m concerned!
I don’t think you’re overreacting at all. IMHO, compliments which are meant to be friendly should remain more…suface-y: nice eyes, I like your shirt, etc. Once someone crosses the line and is complimenting you on areas which could be sexual, then they’re being more blatant. Also, the fact that she not only complimented your ass several times but later exchanged phone numbers with you leads me to believe that she was, in fact, being ‘dodgy’.
So why would she do this? We can only guess. Perhaps she is feeling ignored by the fella at home, and was trying to make herself feel better (unfortunately at your expense). Perhaps she is feeling old and unappreciated and is trying to make herself feel more attractive (again, unfortunately at your expense).
While we can only guess, you can go a step further and actually call and ask her to account for her actions.
She was probably drinking and yeah, I’m thinking if she was comenting on your butt that wasn’t just casual conversation. IT WAS dodgy and WAS flirty. But if she was living with him and gave you her number, do you REALLY want to call her? There are other gorgeous girls if your butt is that great I am sure.
Are you sure she’s still living with him? Is it possible that she recently broke up with him and it’s not common knowledge yet? It just seems weird to me that she’d give you her phone number if she’s living with someone.
Yes, alcohol was involved, and no I’m not going to call her. Sounds like a messy situation to be getting into, frankly, and one that’s best avoided. Oh, and if any of my colleagues recognise me from this thread, pretend you saw nothing…(I’ll deny it to the death!).
Sounds like the beginning of “Guards! Guards!” If you ask me.
But seriously, no woman would give you her number if she wasn’t serious about you getting in touch with her (unless she was very very drunk and has a “past” with you, and “issues”, but you don’t seem to be that kind of person). And about the “she’s living with someone” bit, I’ll second what others have said - maybe they’ve broken up. On the other hand, she’s wanting to cheat on him, either way, she’ll be messed up emotionally, so ask if you really do want the “rebound job” so to speak.
On preview - so she’s still living with him, flirting with you and giving you her phone number. Hmmm… Now, I’m in a relationship, but I will flirt with people, but that’s as far as it will go. I’m at a loss, unless the two of them have issues, and she’s looking for a way out, in which case, steer clear! Us women can be trouble.
Well, that is a shame, Bibliovore, but that certainly doesn’t mean you don’t still have a nice ass Just remember to wear tight pants next time you go to the pub and favorable responses are sure to follow!
I flirted with a woman once who flirted back. I took her out to lunch, we had a fantastic conversation, I found out I had tons of stuff in common with her. Then, I was talking to one of her friends and discovered one thing I didn’t have in common with her.
I’ve had the same thing happen. I was on a lunch date and over sandwiches he mentions something about his wife. “Your what?!” I said. He assured me that she didn’t understand him–“well, sweetie, that makes two of us,” and I walked out. Good sandwich, though.
No, I haven’t called her yet, and I don’t intend to. I had no real reason to think she’d fob me off with a fake number, as I wasn’t pushy or anything. In fact she gave me several hugs throughout the evening…
Ah, bollocks. She really is utterly gorgeous, and I have to admit that I was very flattered by her obvious attention. I haven’t been the object of anyone’s lust since I broke up with my Fiancee, so you can’t really blame me for getting my hopes up.
I’m just really, really tired of these kinds of games.
I mean honestly, why would she behave like that if she was unavailable? It’s just mean.
Thanks for the advice Guys. I’m going to let this one drop and just chalk it up to experience. Next time a lady expresses an interest and gives me her number, however, I’m going to just call her up without trying to over-analyse it and second-guess her motives.
If she’s free, fine. If she’s spoken for and her SO finds out - I’ll just tell him the truth about what she did and leave them to sort it out between them. She’ll have to deal with the consequences of her dishonesty, not me, so it’s no skin off my nose…
Well, if a gorgeous, un-married woman made a (positive) comment
about my ass (repeatedly) and then gave me her number, I’d have to have a go. If she is living with a guy, but still gives out her number at parties to guys with nice asses, she may not be a bastion of virtue, but might be an enjoyable afternoon.