Miraculously Turn Your Child's Behavior Around in One Minute

I’ve heard ads on the local radio for some “program” that supposedly turns around your child’s behavior almost instantly.

Has anyone bought into this program? I have no kids, so I have no iron in this fire, but I’m curious as to what is the general basis on which someone claims they can turn around a child’s behavior so quickly.

My immediate reaction is similar to Scott Adams’s reaction to miracle wight loss cures; if it works the way they’re describing, why would they even need to advertise?

The way these ads sound, it feels like they could be translated as “Does your child have a personality? We can fix that.”

Probably one sheet of paper telling you to smack the kid upside the head.

I wonder if it is some variant of the One Minute Manager, but for parents.

Changing parents is often-but-not-always the first step in changing children - maybe they mean that you change your attitude and then everything looks different.

Or maybe it is an ad for an inpatient program of some sort.


Nuking the kid from orbit would be a pretty fast and effective way to eliminate any negative behavior.

A one-minute inpatient program? :dubious:

The “program” is just a shoddy tranquilizer gun.

Wouldn’t be any more stupid than all those Enzyte and Maxoderm commercials.

Is it anything like those exercise devices on tv that advertise “5 minutes is all you need to lose 5 or more inches off your waist!!!”? – but they really mean 5 minutes a day minimum, plus dieting, will eventually (if you’re lucky and work hard at it) help you lose weight?

Perhaps this device has small print, like thus:

Turn your child’s behavior around in one minute!!!*

*program must be followed precisely, one minute per hour, every hour, for a minimum of five consecutive years. Results may vary. Offer void where prohibited.

When I was at the child-rearing age (back in the 60s), spanking was still considered normal. My daughter was never spanked since her behavior was so exemplary. Not so my son who came along 17 months later. It seemed that the more we said “No!” (e.g. don’t put your finger in the electric socket) the more he wanted to do it. We spanked him. It got so we were spanking him every day. One day, I said to my wife, "No, we are not accomplishing anything and we just stopped. I won’t say it was a one-cure, but quite suddenly his behavior dramatically improved. His brother who came along later was never spanked. They are, all three, delightful adults.

That’s what I’m thinking it is. Some sort of 1-minute discipline technique. Each time the kid acts out you must use their technique that only takes 1-minute.
Do it enough time and they promise your kid will change.

There’s a slogan: “Like Enzyte, but for kids!”

The ads I hear in my local radio market (Boston) are for The Total Transformation Program. From what I’ve been able to find, the basic premise is “You, the parent, are in charge. Tell the kid what to do and don’t take any shit.” It sounds like old school parenting without hitting.

The reviews I’ve found make very clear that it is not the instant cure that the ads claim. If you are successful with the program you apparently reach the point where your child understands that he’s not going to win any battles with you and he stops fighting. The program gives you phrases and scripts to use. There is apparently a ten-word sentence that will get the kid to stop talking back instantly. (“I’m gonna rip off your head and shit down your neck.” Eleven words - that’s not it. I’ll keep looking.)

Here’s an excerpt from one review:

OK, I dont see a problem with the program … the way I look at things most people popping kids out have issues disciplining the kids. I see kids getting away with stuff that my brother and I would have never even been able to think of doing. Backtalk my parents or nanny? I dont think so … refuse to behave? I dont think so … I was never spanked, and never needed it because I had rules, and I followed the rules because in the hosue there was no option to backtalk or not behave. We were punished by being sent to our room. No toys, books, radios, tvs … no distractions of any sort. Total silence, and it worked.

That’s it - that’s the one I’ve heard locally as well.

“I brought you into this world, I can take you out*” - Nope, that’s eleven also.

*Props to Bill Cosby.

Virtually anything done consistently will change your kid’s behavior.

The problem parents have is that they aren’t consistent with anything. BF Skinner found with pigeons that inconsistent rewards create the hardest-to-extinguish behaviors compared to consistent reward or consistent punishment. So the parent who occasionally rewards a temper tantrum by giving in has just tripled the amount of work that will be required to unteach temper tantrums.

“You used to have a brother, but he talked back.”

So basically the gist of this program is that the parent should clearly tell the child what they’re supposed to do, not reward bad behaviour, and reward positive behaviour.

And people pay for this. Christ, I got into the wrong racket. I didn’t know it was this easy to separate people from their money.

Clearly their theme song would be “I’m a Loner, Dottie, a Rebel” by the Get Up Kids.