Misinterpreted thread titles

Haha! Sorry about that gross image.

Whenever I see the thread “Ask the guy who is pretty good at SF Story Identification”, I keep thinking it means “…San Francisco story identification”.

If you’re going to San Francisco, be sure to wear a space helmet over your hair

What kind of people would Dune’s gom jabbbar test select for IRL?

This thread title looks to me like griffin1977 had a stroke mid-sentence.

I mean I could have phrased it better,I’m sure. But not sure how off the top of my head.

You could have used one less ‘b’ in ‘jabbbar’, I suppose.

Um, I want to normalize gaussian distributions, so that I can find the confidence levels…

When the doc asks “Did you fail?” - what do they want to know?

They’re just trying to make you feel bad for not sticking to the diet plan.

New kitty! This is Holiday

Before I actually read the thread, I thought the poster was declaring today to be a new holiday in honor of the new kitty. And since there’s no “a” before “Holiday” I hear it in a bad Russian accent.

Natasha make Holiday for Boris’ kitty. Boris so happy! Even squirrel likink new kitty.

And now there’s a new thread, “How’s your balance?” And I keep thinking it’s asking about our bank account balances.

I thought this sad thread would be a lament that people don’t write things like “plop” and “kaboom” anymore.

https://boards.straightdope.com/t/western-writers-widely-recognized-as-master-stylists

I was all set to recommend Louis L’Amour and Zane Grey…

Tell me about pellet smokers

Oh, must be one of those new tobacco/vaping things…

My interpretation involved rabbits.

Not a thread here, but in the same spirit as this thread, I just saw a clickbait headline that read “Trump Impersonator Goes to Chick-Fil-A in a Black Democratic Hood. What Happened Next Will Shock You.”

I had to think for a while before I figured out what “black Democratic hood” meant. I kept thinking the guy was wearing a black garment on his head with Democratic slogans printed on it or something.

How could Hertz be so short-sighted about renting Eva?

She seemed nice, but all I really wanted was a small sedan without any accessories.

AC/DC and transformers

Perfect soundtrack for their next movie.

A small thing, but I keep seeing Ah fear Panera is doomed, as though a southerner is worried that his access to chocolate croissants will end.

Tell me how airplane movie watching works - headphone related

I keep thinking the poster is asking how to watch the movie Airplane!