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Monty Python Competition #25 — December 2024 — Texture

Testing new bees

Wasn’t that a ‘Black Mirror’ episode?

I think I might need glasses…

Undead count showing 1, when there are no undead topics

It is so hard to explain to a zombie that we’re not talking about him behind his back.

Cities the authorities had to name

No, you can’t call it El Toro, we decree it to be Lake Forest!

Obscure lines from communists

“Communism is like one big phone company.” - Lenny Bruce

Whence all these f’ing files?!?

I heard they were kept in a storage room next to the pool.

“Sing Little Birdie?”

–Mao Tse Tung

Whence all these f’ing files?!?

Maybe the OP has malware on his computer that’s downloading a ton of stuff for nefarious purposes. Or they have a kid clicking on every bleeping thing.

What kind of sperm is this?

Let me assure you, here at the Acme Artificial Insemination Clinic we use only guaranteed, certified, 100% human® sperm.

Do car jukeboxes die over time?

Not if you change the needle every 3000 miles.

Any experiences with Mahomes for Seniors?

Nobody eats sandwiches anymore

(stares pathetically at my BLT) Boy, I am really out of touch…

How to turn off headlights in Excel

Man, I am so out of touch. I didn’t even know you could run a spreadsheet on a car.

Artificial Duels that became (or did not become) real

The Hatfields really didn’t have anything against the McCoys, but once folks started sayin’ they did, it jes’ nacherly turned into a real-life feud.

I Want My Ry Cooder

Yeah, he’s a great musician, a legend, I like him too.

Hehehe, I read it the same way. He’s not “your” Ry Cooder, he’s all of ours.

It was just for a moment, but it made me smile:

“So, what made you smite today?”

Disclaimer: I do not smite.

What to bring to colorize a new planet

Paint, markers, …

Any way to axe the Edge browser?

I’m sticking with Old Spice, thanks.