Hey, yo. Haven’t really been a fan of any sport for quite some time, but I found this on ESPN.com and just had to share it: Joe Girardi at the press conference after losing the ALCS.
Seriously, it’s a gem. I don’t think I’ve seen anything quite like it before.
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“Y’know, one thing I know is, is that I’m getting effort from the guys. And…y’know, and…so…I, I, I don’t become frustrated, um. Y’know, we come every day to work to win. It, it hurts when you don’t win, there’s no doubt about it, I mean, obviously, life goes on. Uhh…but, y’know sometimes as a manager, you have to make tough calls; sometimes the calls are simple to make. And, um, you live with them, and you move on. [Someone asks him about the configurations he made and how nothing worked.] There’s a lot of good hitters in that room, and to be able to shut a lot them down is very surprising to me. And, y’know some of the guys who replaced other guys are good big league players that have had a lot of success in their career. And collectively, we weren’t able to get it done.”
[/QUOTE]
“Well, see, y’know, to win, you have to score more runs than the other team. And, and, we didn’t…y’know, if we had scored more runs, yes, we’d be good, but we didn’t, and that’s…I…uh…I hesitate to use the word “bad”, but it’s, it’s definitely not something that I, as a manager, would ever want for our team. Um…yeah…no, definitely not. But, y’know, as long as the sun rises in the east, we’ll keep our power dry, a stitch in time will still save nine, candy will still be dandy and yet liquor quicker…uhh…and no matter what, A-Rod has a nice personality. Y’know. So above all else, over nine thousand, all your base are belong to us, I took an arrow to the knee, and don’t have a cow, man. Y’know. Uhh…y’know. Yeah. Y’know. Y’know. And…y’know.”
Sarah Palin couldn’t have said it better. 
Okay, I’m well aware that after suffering a catastrophic beatdown in a playoff series (particularly for an organization that seems to bear this far more often than really they should), it can be hard to find the right words. And I can understand grasping for an easy cliche to buy some time. But geez, this guy was on autopilot. I almost wonder why anyone even bothered asking him anything at all.
Probably the weirdest thing was how smooth it was. He definitely sounds like someone who’s done this before. It’s like a yokozuna delivering the same “I’ll do my best” and “I hope you all root for me” lines he’s given a hundred times before to the point where he can do it in his sleep.