As I recall, his words of wisdom included: coyotes are the fastest mammal on earth; the flavor of lemon-lime is detestable to coyotes, making lemon-lime a suitable poison coating for makeshift weapons; and more people have died hiking than in the entire Civil War. (In addition to suggesting they eat what they kill. Which is I suppose coyote …)
I love Alex’s t-shirt, a giraffe hugging a dinosaur. It makes me a little sad to find out it’s from irritating hipster shop Threadless. 
“Your hat makes you look like you walked under a bird that poops ugly hats.”
one of the few episodes (imo) that claire out-hots gloria
Ah, but Mitchell is the breadwinner, so that tilts the scale heavily in his direction.
While I still agree that Cam is the ‘wife’, let’s not forget the incident at the gas station with the guy who bumped his car into Mitchell’s leg.
Hm. Who’s the Husband?
Mitchell:
[ul]
[li]Has facial hair[/li][li]Earns money[/li][li]Fewer stereotypical mannerisms[/li][/ul]
Cameron:
[ul]
[li]Played football in college[/li][li]Badass, frightening badass when need arises[/li][li]Can snap Mitchell like a twig[/li][li]Good with tools[/li][li]Grew up on a farm[/li][li]Skilled with drums, the most masculine of rock instruments[/li][/ul]
I think it’s clear who the real husband is.
Yes, but sometimes the whole is very different than the sum of its parts. Cam is definitely the “wife,” though I suspect he’s the “man” in bed (only because Mitchell looks extremely fuckable).
"Hands! Hands!" 
One could probably come up with a similar list that would show Claire to also be the “real husband”.
Anyways, I think your list is part of what makes the show what it is. Cameron is clearly (IMHO) the ‘wife’, he has many of the stereotypes associated with an effeminate gay male, but when you really pick him apart the way you did you realize it’s not quite so black and white. But as a whole picture thing, if you just met the two of them or if you only knew the casually like the people in the park, you’d probably pick Cam out as the wife.
Also, he’s the one doing most of the child rearing, a role typically associated with the wife/mom.
There was an episode the first season where Cameron said something like “I’m going to stay home and be a trophy wife!”
Joo Jooz the air bunnies at me, I keel joo!
Just saw this- very cute!
WOW, once again as a gay man, I remember how unknowingly offensive “Breeders” can be…
The whole point of the Cam/Mitchell plot is that there is no “wife” or “husband” Just two people in love raising a child. It was done in a humorous style, but some of the posts here don’t seem to get that , and they seriously discuss who should be which…
Is it worse to be unknowingly offensive, or to throw hateful terms around in full knowledge?
First of all, we are not all “breeders.” Second, there’s nothing “serious” about any of this. And third, my attention has returned to fantasizing about Phil . . . who is definitely the wife. Or at least with me he would be.