“Tear open packet and use”
Glad I read that, I almost tried to “Lather, Rinse, and Repeat.”
That’s it? It doesn’t even tell you how to use it? Or which side of the packet to tear open, for that matter.
Sounds like poor directions indeed.
Buffalo Wild Wings has better directions on their wet-naps
… something like “If you need more than three, go wash your hands” or “not to be used in place of a shower”.
Along the same lines, what is the most complex or potentially dangerous item that doesn’t come with directions?
I’ve never seen instructions on how to use scissors, for example.
I’ve never bought one, so I don’t know - do guns come with instructions?
“Point end with hole at target, place finger on trigger, and pull.”
I wish they gave directions for those hot towels you get on long flights. I have absolutely no idea what to do with them and as such, end up tentatively dabbing my face, and then screwing it up so it looks like all the other ones in the bin when the crew collect them. It just makes me feel worse. When i look around to see what everyone else is doing with theirs, they look just as confused.
I use mine to first wipe my face - after a long flight in that air, nothing feels better than that hot towel - then use it wash my neck, then my hands. They’re just meant to give you an easy way to refresh a bit.
But did it contain traces of nuts?
Meanwhile: Paging Wonko the Sane.
No, those instructions aren’t much good. Who’s really going to try using it WITHOUT tearing the package open first??
I really liked the toothpick directions in ‘so long and thanks’ though. They were very good at explaining exactly what to do, and I never really understood John’s problem… did he think that everyone should intuitively know what to do with toothpicks? Figure it out with trial and error (but watch out poking them anywhere near your eye!) Pass toothpick lessons down in an oral tradition??
No civilization is ever really going too far wrong by writing down stuff that it thinks should be completely obvious. That’s my take.
Which would make the Dope the potential cockroaches of the post-apocalyptic world – starting with MPSIMS. 
Guns do come with instructions… but not instructions on how to shoot the thing. At least my shotgun didn’t. All sorts of “assemble blah blah” and “fish and game act blah blah” and “choke blah blah”, but really no “lather, rinse, repeat”.
I just thought of a more complex item that doesn’t come with directions (and should): Artichokes!
Lobsters, too, maybe.
A couple of months ago, I bought some fabric softener sheets at Costco. They were Kirkland, the Costco proprietary brand. There were three, three paragraphs of usage instructions on them!! Three freakin’ paragraphs. Anyone who needs instructions that specific to use a fabric softener sheet should not be trusted with such machinery as a clothes dryer!
Strangest thing I ever saw was the toilet paper dispenser with instructions. It said pull, then had an arrow and “Tear Here”. I’m pretty sure I still don’t get it.
Was the toilet paper one of those huge rolls that don’t have built-in perfs? Because if so, the place the arrow pointed to might have been a sharp edge that would make tearing off a chunk easy. (Think Saran wrap boxes, with the serrated cutting edge on one lip.)
My grocery store sells artichokes with instructions. And more complicated, exotic fruit also comes with instructions. I’m wiht you on the lobster thing, though.
I’ve always found that confusing.
You know nothing of the evils Carmex has wrought upon the unsuspecting. The haughty ones, much like you, who thought they didn’t need the directions. Thought they were too smart, or too good for directions.
They didn’t use the Carmex as directed.
Where are they now, you ask? Well, haven’t you ever wondered what hot dogs are really made of? Hmmm?
Let’s just say what happens is not a pretty sight. Heed that warning well the next time you are thinking about being a rebel.