What was it? Remains of an amniotic sac.
The more difficult question is just what the fuck your butt gave birth to. You might want to bolt the toilet lid shut, and do a head count of your co-workers.
Or perhaps is just good old fashioned butt snot. Gesundheit!
I would vastly prefer peehands over peebutt. Hands I can wash in the sink with soap. My butt’s going to be more difficult and cause awkward questions if my boss walks in.
Also, it’s just pee. Relax.
This is always the part I like to interject that grape pop turns your shit green.
I have a truly horrible story involving taking opiates for an injury, having a “normal” side effect, and deciding that red beans and rice were a good way to take care of that.
And this thread is hilarious.
Good one.
Probably because, just like the rest of us, you were wondering if the words “pan-fried” were going to show up.
The latter. Urine has an unpleasant aroma, but aside from that, its presence in the environment is not much of a public health issue.
My coworkers are awkwardly glancing around their cubicle walls because of how hard I laughed at this.
Thumbs-up / Like / +1
Well played, sir.
No, you are correct - I don’t even know what I expected, but the OP wasn’t it.
Please tell me the waitress said to you as you left “We hope you come again!”
Regards,
Shodan
Relax? I’m not fastidious in the least. I’ve macerated monkeys, dismembered putrefying animal carcasses, and mucked out sheep sheds that hadn’t been cleaned for a whole winter. However, call me old-fashioned, but I prefer not to carry around dried flakes of someone else’s piss on my butt for the rest of the day.
I don’t care about its presence in the environment. I’ve used toilets in the third world that would make your skin crawl. (I wish piss had been the only thing on the seat…) But as a personal preference, I’d just rather not to have a stranger’s piss on my own body.
Seriously, it’s OK with me if you don’t mind having someone else’s piss on you. Just recognize it’s probably a minority view, and most people would prefer to avoid it.
[QUOTE=Inner Stickler]
I would vastly prefer peehands over peebutt. Hands I can wash in the sink with soap. My butt’s going to be more difficult and cause awkward questions if my boss walks in.
[/QUOTE]
It’s not an either/or. If you just wipe off the seat with toilet paper, you may wind up with piss on both your hands and your butt. Unless you are planning to scrub it with soap, there’s still going to be a film of dried piss on the seat. If you put TP on the seat, you’ll avoid having piss on either your hands or your butt.
I have some bad news for you about what’s coating everything in that bathroom.
Porcelain?
So why do you bother to wipe off the seat yourself (as you implied in your post)? Are you perfectly OK sitting on a piss-flecked toilet seat?
Because I like things neat and am willing to spend a square of TP to clean it up. I’m not willing to pull off a whole string of 10 or 15 squares to make myself an ersatz toilet cover. I would find it uncomfortable from a sensory point of view and slightly unnerving to sit on someone else’s cold pee, but not something worth freaking out about.
I had it reported to me by a female cow-orker that it was the habit of some of the ladies at work to avoid the whole TP-on-the-seat nuisance by simply standing on the seat and emulating the in-the-woods approach.
Gives added meaning to the old “shit on from a great height” image.
Of course, instead of piss on the lid, you now had to wonder what they were tracking on their shoes – and where they had been walking. Some things just don’t have a simple solution (so to speak).
I think it is colorfully known as an ‘ass gasket’. But, if you are merely covering a few droplets of someone else’s urine with a few squares, wont that just soak thru the (often) cheap and thin TP? Even those waxy, full-sized gaskets seem porous to me. As long as the seat appears to be dry, I am usually good to sit, and I curse whomever spreads a few dozen squares and having them fall all over the place for someone else to clean-up.
Yes, my wife often comments on the disgusting results of women’s “hover” techniques in the ladies room.
I have never understood the concerns over preserving the pristine character of one’s bun cheeks.
OK, so I get a drop or two of alien wee-wee on my sit-upon - I incur this most generally in the course of dropping a load, with all its attendent splashes and skid marks. Worst case scenario is that I have to wipe off non-pooped-thru parts of my posterior ere I cleanse the Third Eye, and that doesn’t take much more TP or time or effort. I am not talking about wading hip deep in a piddle pool, but just not bothering with walling off the seat of the toi-toi as if it were a crime scene and I am NC-fricking-IS.
I am a guy, so more often than not I am pointing Percy at the porcelain instead of giving birth to a manager, but still.
Regards,
Shodan
Outstanding piece of prose there, Shodan, and if this thread has a chance of being won by any specific post, I will put this one in nomination! 