Monkey Man, He Cometh!

[Diane]

I laughed a little when I read this. I should be very ashamed of myself.

http://dailynews.yahoo.com/h/abc/20010517/ts/india010516_monkey_1.html

[mouthbreather]

I giggled, a lot. Not that people were injured, but at the sheer absurdity of the whole thing. Two people have died – not from the monkey attack, but from jumping out of windows and falling down stairs because they think the monkeyman is nearby.

This was the article I saw:
http://www.cnn.com/2001/WORLD/asiapcf/south/05/16/india.monkeyman/index.html

“It was a monkey alright, and about four foot tall, but as soon as I grabbed it, it turned itself into a cat with tawny, glowing eyes,” the newspaper quoted a resident as saying.

Uh-huh.

Short man beaten for fitting description…The public’s fear of the monkey man is so great that residents of Noida, a New Delhi suburb, caught and beat up a 4-foot-tall wandering Hindu mystic, mistaking him for the simian terror, the Statesman said.

Maybe I’m going to hell, but I think that is freakin hilarious.

[Drastic]

[homer]Auugh! Monkey Man![/homer]

http://www.ananova.com/news/story/sm_294723.html has sketches of the dread scourge. If you have small children, you may wish to shoo them away from your computer before viewing.

Deepali Kumari, from Noida, said: "It has three buttons on its chest. One makes it turn into a monkey, the second gives it extra strength, the third makes it invisible.

“He touches a lock and it breaks. But he is afraid of the light.”

So there you have it. Keep your lights on, folks.

[Frumious_Bandersnatch]

Who will be having hot monkey sex, and will the video be for sale?

[Spavined_Gelding]

Is there any chance that India has Saturday morning cartoons? This guy looks like he could be on right after the Flintstones.

[SwimmingRiddles]

Four foot tall monkey man with the agility of a cat? Shit, I knew something was up when no one heard from my uncle Lou in a while…he just never struck me as the international type.

[donnie_rotten]

Funny, the Travelling Wilburys didn’t mention the Monkey Man had run off to India in the song… but oh well.

Any Tweeter sightings yet?

[Morrison_s_Lament]

I saw this on the news the other day, and I too feel like a bad bad man for laughing my ass off silently about it.

I saw an interview with one man (not the dwarf mystic) who was the victim of a rumour with no apparent origin. Everyone was seemingly convinced that he was in league with this Monkey Man character and his gang (now this thing has a posse?)!

He was eventually taken and beaten savagely by a crowd. The interview seemed to be conducted in a jailhouse, don’t know if that was for his conspiracy to bite and scratch people, perhaps it was for his own protection?

All I know is that India is crawling with all kinds of animals and I hope people start realizing there is nothing unusual about these attacks and this rumour dies as soon as possible.

— G. Raven

[Una_Persson]

This is truly pathetic. It reminds me of the village riots in Guatemala, as US citizens were attacked because the villagers thought they were here to steal children for body parts. Except this is just so much more absurd.

[Diane]

From http://www.ananova.com/news/story/sm_299219.html

"*An Indian psychiatrist has compared the Monkey Man mystery to a penis-related panic among Nigerian men 10 years ago.

Doctor Sandeep Vohra, president of Delhi Psychiatric Society, explains the Monkey Man panic as mass delusion.

Ten years ago, groups of Nigerian men became convinced their genitals would disappear if they touched a stranger.*"

Men afraid of touching strangers with their weiners? That’s a new one! :rolleyes: