Monty Python fans: the Grand Reunion show is coming up.Let's write the script!

Monty Python is doing one last show…And, if you’re reading this thread, you already know that— just like you know how to quote most of their sketches by heart.

So let’s talk about the show!

At a news conference, the Python crew offered some hints about what the show will look like:
– The show will be mostly repeats of their famous sketches, with only a small amount of new material.
– John Cleese can’t do his “Ministry of Funny Walks” because he’s had surgery on his hip and knees.
– They said “We have to be very careful about how much new material we do as people want to see the old ones.But we can serve old sketches up in new ways and play tricks on the audience. Pretend to start a sketch and go off in a different direction”

So, fellow fans…Let’s be armchair directors, and help the Pythons write their show:

I have a few suggestions:

  1. Before opening the doors to the theatre, announce that the show is delayed due to, say, an electric blackout earlier in the day that prevented the crew from getting the stage set up .
    Apologize to the audience, and explain that the construction crew is still frantically working behind the curtains, so please be patient. Leave the curtains closed, but with lots of noise like hammering, drilling,etc .
    Then have an unseen janitor behind the curtain whisper to his buddy…“Hey, mate…this
    microphone is dead, isn’t it? Throw it out, along with all that other junk out there to be hauled away…like that bird cage, and that Canadian mounted police uniform. Those things aren’t on the list for this performance.” Then cut the microphone off abruptly.(and film the reactions on the faces of the audience).
    2: Create a build-up to the lumberjack song.
    Several different times during the show, start singing it, but each time with a different character:
    “I’m a lion tamer, and I’m okay, I …”.
    “I’m a parrot salesman and I’m okay, I …”…etc
    “I’m a Hungarian, and I’m so real…my hovercraft is full of eels”.
    Each time, after half a verse, suddenly stop singing, and say “oops…that’s not going to work, is it? We’ll have to try this again, later on”.

  2. Do the parrot sketch with audience participation :
    Pick 10 people at random to come up on stage. Ask each person which synonym for death he remembers (pushing up daisies, six feet under, etc, etc…).
    Hand each participant a sign with his phrase printed on it.Then line up the volunteers in a row, in the proper order.Then do the sketch , and when it comes time for the list of synonyms, have John Cleese stay quiet, and point to each volunteer in turn who speaks his phrase into the microphone.
    THEN—have John Cleese continue the sketch by saying a new, and much longer, list of euphemisms for a dead parrot.
    (I like “It’s metabolic processes are a matter of interest only to historians” (quoted from wiki.) It shouldn’t be hard to invent 20 or 30 more. Can any dopers make suggestions?

  3. “Mix up” the sketches : use bits of one classic sketch inside another.
    Example: the lumberjack walks into the pet shop and tries to buy some cheese.
    This concept is easy…but the actual delivery to making it work and be really humorous is
    difficult–at least for a small-minded person like me. So, Dopers–help me out! let’s write a sample sketch.

5.For the end of the show…after the encores, etc…do two things:
First, get slightly serious for a moment; have the entire cast on stage say a sincere thank you to the fans who have followed them and quoted their material (too often!) for 40 years.
And then, lead the audience in a sing-along of “Always Look on the Bright Side of Life”.
It’ll put a smile on the face of every person in the house, and they’ll still be singing it to themselves as they leave the building .
So what other ideas do you have?
Tickets to the performance sold out in 43.5 seconds…so I doubt if many of us will be attending.
But if you’re one of the ticket holders—Celebrate!!!

Cleese: So, a Monty Python reunion show?
Jones: —Yes.
You’ll be doing The Dead Parrot Sketch then?
—Yes, yes, yes. Well, no.
I see. Well, how about the Ministry of Silly Walks?
—Let me look… No.
The Lumberjack Song?
—Well, of course, we… No.

[extended for several moments]

So, you’re not going to be doing any of the classic sketches, then?
—Well, you have to understand…
[Enter Patrick Stewart in Graham Chapman’s old military uniform]
Stewart: This sketch is silly! Besides, it’s been done before! Besides, it’s not true.

[Michael Palin is wheeled out in a chair, thoroughly bandaged, and is driven up to the mike.]
Palin: It’s…

I’m bumping my thread–because there are at least a thousand Dopers who love Monty Python, and are just dying to contribute.Right?

And surely they don’t want this thread to go meet its maker, rest in peace, kick the bucket,push up the daisies,shuffle off this mortal coil, be six feet under, join the choir invisible ,run down the curtain, and become an ex-thread! :slight_smile: