People get killed, properly dead, sir, no barely-crossed fingers, sir. A bloke was telling me, if you’re in the Army and there’s a war, you have to go and fight!
Right.
Malcolm Peter Brian Telescope Adrian Umbrella Stand Jasper Wednesday (pops mouth twice) Stoatgobbler John Raw Vegetable (sound effect of horse whinnying) Arthur Norman Michael (blows squeaker) Featherstone Smith (blows whistle) Northgot Edwards Harris (fires pistol, which goes ‘whoop’) Mason (chuff-chuff-chuff) Frampton Jones Fruitbat Gilbert (sings) ‘We’ll keep a welcome in the’ (three shots, stops singing) Williams If I Could Walk That Way Jenkin (squeaker) Tiger-draws Pratt Thompson (sings) ‘Raindrops Keep Falling On My Head’ Darcy Carter (horn) Pussycat ‘Don’t Sleep In The Subway’ Barton Mannering (hoot, ‘whoop’) Smith.
Pull the other one!
Well, it’s five past nine and nearly time for six past nine. On BBC 2 now it’ll shortly be six and a half minutes past nine. Later on this evening it’ll be ten o’clock and at 10.30 we’ll be joining BBC 2 in time for 10.33, and don’t forget tomorrow when it’ll be 9.20. Those of you who missed 8.45 on Friday will be able to see it again this Friday at a quarter to nine. Now here is a time check. It’s six and a half minutes to the big green thing.
May I take this opportunity of emphasizing that there is no cannibalism in the British Navy.
Regards,
Shodan
You see, what I really wanted was a regiment where I could be really quiet and have more time to myself to work with fabrics, and creating new concepts in interior design.
He must have died while carving it.
You can’t eat that raw!
It’s a fair cop!
Golf, strangling animals, and masturbation.
Regards,
Shodan
He has a wife, you know. Incontinentia… Incontinentia Buttocks.
Hello, and welcome to ‘The Middle of the Film’, the moment where we take a break to invite you, the audience, to join us, the film-makers, in ‘Find the Fish’. We’re going to show you a scene from another film and ask you to guess where the fish is, but, if you think you know, don’t keep it to yourselves. Yell out so that all the cinema can hear you. So, here we are with… ‘Find the Fish’.
Can do, but won’t.
Regards,
Shodan
Marriage counselor: And what is the name of your ravishing wife? (holds her hand) Wait. Don’t tell me. It’s something to do with moonlight - it goes with her eyes - it’s soft and gentle, warm and yielding, deeply lyrical and yet tender and frightened like a tiny white rabbit.
Arthur Pewty: It’s Deidre.
Is your wife a…goer…eh? Know what I mean? Know what I mean? Nudge nudge. Nudge nudge. Know what I mean? Say no more…know what I mean?
Czech sheep’s milk? Venezuelan beaver cheese?
Regards,
Shodan
A man’s got to do what a man’s got to do, and there ain’t no sense in runnin’. Now you gotta turn, and you gotta fight, and you gotta hold your head up high.
We’re knights of the Round Table, we dance whene’er we’re able. We do routines and chorus scenes with footwork impec-cable, We dine well here in Camelot, we eat ham and jam and Spam a lot. / We’re knights of the Round Table, our shows are for-mi-dable. But many times we’re given rhymes that are quite un-sing-able, We’re opera mad in Camelot, we sing from the diaphragm a lot. / In war we’re tough and able, Quite in-de-fa-ti-gable. Between our quests we sequin vests and impersonate Clark Gable / It’s a busy life in Camelot
A 20 foot electric penquin!