The plumage don’t enter into it. It’s stone dead.
Tonight we’re going to take a hard tough abrasive look at camel spotting. Hello.
That was a party political broadcast on behalf of the Liberal Party
Number eleven. More naughty bits.
It’s… No. No. No. It’s…
Thank you. I didn’t want to seem a bit of an old fusspot just now you know, but it’s just as easy to get these things right as they are easily found in the BALPA handbook. Oh, one other thing, in the Sherlock Holmes last week Tommy Cooper told a joke about a charter flight, omitting to point out that one must be a member of any organization that charters a plane for at least six months beforehand, before being able to take advantage of it. Did rather spoil the joke for me, I’m afraid.
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Yes, ah yes - yes.My wife just reminded me that on a recent ‘High Chapparal’ Kathy Kirby was singing glibly about ‘Fly me to the Stars’ when of course there are no scheduled flights of this kind, or even chartered, available to the general public at the present moment, although of course, when they are BALPA will be in the vanguard. Or the Trident. Little joke for the chaps up at BALPA House. And one other small point. Why is it that these new lurex dancing tights go baggy at the knees after only a couple of evenings fun? Bring back the old canvas ones I say.It is incredible, isn’t it, that in these days when man can walk on the moon and work out the most complicated hire purchase agreements, I still get these terrible headaches.
Well . … I seem to have wandered a bit, but still, no harm done. Jolly good luck.
All right, but apart from the sanitation, medicine, education, wine, public order, irrigation, roads, the fresh water system and public health, what have the Romans ever done for us?
Oh, it was extremely interesting, very, very - quite… it was dull; dull, dull, dull, oh God it was dull. Sitting in the Waterloo waiting room.
Yeah, they said I hadn’t done anything and I could go and live on an island somewhere.
So it’s lots of happy pills for you, and you can find out all about the birth when you get home. It’s available on Betamax, VHS and Super 8.
From now on you shall be called Brian that is called Brian.
The Universe consists of a billion, billion galaxies… 77,000,000,000 miles across, and every galaxy is made up of a billion, zillion stars and around these stars circle a billion planets, and of all of these planets the greenest and the pleasantest is the planet Earth, in the system of Sol, in the Galaxy known as the Milky Way … And it was to this world that creatures of an alien planet came … to conquer and destroy the very heart of civilization…
And the bison shall be huge and black, and the eyes still of red with the blood of living creatures! And the whore of Babylon shall ride forth on a red-headed serpent, and throughout the land shall be a great rubbing of parts!
You lucky bastard!
No. 1. The Larch. The Larch.
They must think the sun shines out your ass!
It’s from the BBC. They want to know if I want to be in a sketch on telly.
The general public’s not going to understand this, are they?
Oh, you never know till you try. Look at Mrs. Brando’s son next door. He was mending the fridge when they came and asked him to be the Wild One.
Now stand aside, worthy adversary.