Dear Sir, how splendid it is to see the flower of British manhood wiping itself out with such pluck and tenacity. Britain need have no fear with leaders of this calibre. If only a few of the so-called working class would destroy themselves so sportingly. Yours etc., Brigadier Mainwaring Smith Smith Smith etc. Deceased etc. PS etc. Come on other ranks, show your stuff.
Right, right, stop it. This film’s got silly. Started off with a nice little idea about grannies attacking young men, but now it’s got silly. This man’s hair is too long for a vicar too. These signs are pretty badly made. Right, now for a complete change of mood.
What, you mean pronounce “blassified” with a K?
Two inches to the right of a very naughty bit indeed.
Noises are a major embarrassment source. Even words like “tits,” “winkle” and “vibraphone,” cannot rival the embarrassment potential of sounds.
It’s…
Michael Baldwin - this is Bruce.
What an amazing escape!
Regards,
Shodan
Good evening. Tonight - dinosaurs. I have here sitting in the studio next to me an elk. Aaagghhhh! Oh, I’m sorry, Anne Elk, Mrs Anne Elk.
But now over to the exploding version of the Blue Danube.
Mr. E.V. Lambert of Homeleigh, The Burrows, Oswestly, has presented us with a poser. We do not know which bush he is behind – but we can soon find out.
*** ka-boom! ***
*** ka-boom! ***
*** ka-boom! ** Aiiiiiggghhh!!!*
Yes, it was the middle one.
Harrison, Mr. Harrison. Come at me with that banana then. Come on attack me with it. As hard as you like. Come on.
Tonight - the semaphore version of Wuthering Heights.
Regards,
Shodan
From the pulsating pages of history, from the dark and furious days of Imperial Rome we bring you a story that shattered the world! A tale so gripping that they said it could not he filmed. A unique event in cinema history! Julius Caesar on an Aldis lamp!
Coventry City last won the FA Cup in what year? No? Well, I’m not surprised you didn’t get that. It was in fact a trick question. Coventry City have never won the FA Cup.
Number seven. Two inches to the right of a very naughty bit indeed.
Rule six - there is NO rule six!
Oh…the cat’s eaten it.
I haven’t got choc-ices. I only got the albatross. Albatross!
Wait a minute…suppose two swallows carried it together?