Well it wasn’t all that terrible.
WHADDAYOU WANT? DON’T GIVE ME THAT, YOU SNOTTY-FACED HEAP OF PARROT DROPPINGS!! SHUT YOUR FESTERING GOB, YOU TIT! YOUR TYPE MAKES ME PUKE!! YOU VACUOUS TOFFEE-NOSED MALODOROUS PERVERT!!! Oh…oh! I’m sorry, this is Abuse! No, you want room 12A, next door.
(stupid git)
We’ll have none of your imperialist tidbits.
Nevertheless, I advise you in future to replace the words ‘Crunchy Frog’ with the legend, ‘Crunchy, Raw, Unboned Real Dead Frog’ if you wish to avoid prosecution!
Good Lord! You’re the man who introduced Sir Edward Ross on the other side of the record!
Splunge!
The Larch!
The Pine!
The Giant Redwood tree!
The Sequoia!
The Little Whopping Rule Tree!
We’d sing! Sing! Sing!
You’re not even a proper woman!
Quite right - you don’t want to come back from Sorrento to a dead cat. It’d be so anticlimactic. Yes, kill it now, that’s what I say. We’re going to have to have our budgie put down.
Good evening. Here is the news for Parrots. No parrots were involved in an accident on the M1 today when a lorry carrying high-octane fuel was in collison with a bollard. That’s a bollard and not a parrot. A spokesman for parrots said he was glad no parrots were involved.
Look, matey, I know a dead parrot when I see one, and I’m looking at one right now.
Burn her!
Yessir. It’s ah… it’s a bit runny.
What do you mean “miss”?
What is your quest?
Yeah, well, what about the cat?
We’ve been mentioned on telly!
You see, you know that is the trouble with living half way up a cliff - you feel so cut off. You know it takes me two hours every morning to get out onto the moors, collect my berries, chastise myself, and two hours back in the evening.
Ooh get her, whoops
I’ve got your number, ducky you couldn’t afford me dear
Two, three
I’ll scratch your eyes out
Don’t come the brigadier bit with us dear
We all know where you’ve been, you military fairy
Two, three
One, two, three, four, five, six
Whoops, don’t look now, girls
The major’s just minced in with that dolly colour sergeant
Two, three,
Ooh.
Number eleven. More naughty bits.