Oh, Priscilla, Priscilla. How could you have been so gullible?
That’s Pither, as in “brotherhood”, except a “pi” instead of a “bro”, and no “hood”.
Dlake has sighted the Spanish Freet, youl Majesty
If it’s sheeps in the night you’re worried about, Neilson, ewe’d better take pains to prevent them ramming our bulwarks.
What’s this, then? “Romanes Eunt Domus”? People called Romanes they go the house?
Yes, right, macaroons, that’s two dozen fruit cakes, half a dozen macaroons. Right ho. Won’t be a jiffy then.
I keep your potato.
I’d give anything to wipe that stupid grin off his face, Ffoulkes.
Well, he’s a crafty one, that one, Mortimer. I’d like to know what he’s grinning at.
And …?
We have the requisite inquisitorial facilities here, you know.
You’re not suggesting …?
You read my mind, Mortimer.
Bravo, Ffoulkes!
Likewise, Mortimer.
Well, how very interesting, because I’m now made entirely of tin.
Morning, Ffoulkes.
Morning, Mortimer.
I say, Ffoulkes, you don’t look your usual sprightly self.
Well, I’m not a lumberjack, Mortimer, and I’m anything but …
Coming down with something are you, Ffoulkes?
Sad sack, Mortimer. Perkins thought it might be primogeniture.
Good lord! We haven’t had a case of that for years.
So Perkins said.
You’d better see doctor D, Ffoulkes.
Old Dragonwyk? I thought he was dead.
Yes, well, he does give that impression sometimes.
What happened to that gorgeous locum of his?
Down with Alice, I heard. Lot of it about these days.
Well, just so long as she’s not down with Fothergill.
Dreadful fellow, Ffoulkes
I’ll be off then, Mortimer.
Safe passage, Ffoulkes.
Likewise, Mortimer.
It just says “We would like you to be in a sketch. You are standing at a counter. When the sketch starts you go off. Yours faithfully, Lord Hill.”
That’s right, yeah. I’ve had a team working on this over the past few weeks, and what we’ve come up with can be reduced to two fundamental concepts… One… people are not wearing enough hats. Two… matter is energy; in the Universe there are many energy fields which we cannot normally perceive. Some energies have a spiritual source which act upon a person’s soul. However, this soul does not exist ab inito, as orthodox Christianity teaches; it has to be brought into existence by a process of guided self-observation. However, this is rarely achieved owing to man’s unique ability to be distracted from spiritual matters by everyday trivia.
Why does the world not hear more of Johann Gambolputty de von Ausfern-schplenden-schlitter-crasscrenbon-fried-digger-dingle-dangle-dongle-dungle-burstein-von-knacker-thrasher-apple-banger-horowitz-ticolensic-grander-knotty-spelltinkle-grandlich-grumblemeyer-spelterwasser-kurstlich-himbleeisen-bahnwagen-gutenabend-bitte-ein-nurnburger-bratwustle-gernspurten-mitz-weimache-luber-hundsfut-gumberaber-shonedanker-kalbsfleisch-mittler-aucher von Hautkopft of Ulm?
You must return here with a shrubbery, or else you will never pass through this wood…
…
alive.
'Tis but a scratch!
Shut your festering gob you tit! Your type makes me puke! You vacuous toffee-nosed malodorous pervert!
Well, Brian…(interminable pause)…I kicked the ball first time, and there it was in the back of the net!
Watch it - there’s still a few crosses left!
Well hello, it’s the wacky Queen again!
Very good golfer. Very good golfer. Rotten at finance. It’ll be Parkinson next.