Dinsdale!
And Oliver has run himself over! What a great twit.
What *else *floats on water?
How do you know so much about cycling?
How do you know so much about swallows?
Once in the sewer, timing will be of the essence. There is a Roman feast later in the evening, so we must move fast, and don’t wear your best sandals. Turning left here, we enter the Caesar-Augustus memorial sewer and from there, proceed directly to the hypocaust. This has just been re-tiled, so terrorists, careful with those weapons. We will now be directly beneath Pilate’s audience chamber itself. This is the moment for Habbakuk to get out his prong.
I’m just getting a buzzing noise in my left ear… UUUUUeeeueh!!!
Oh, by the way, Barnes.
Sir?
I’m afraid your June quarterly stipend will be a bit late in arriving - probably April or May next year, I should think.
Sir … ?
Look, Barnes. My birthday party simply must take precedence over … Well, you just have to see the bigger picture.
Naturally, sir.
Barnes?
Sir?
Do I detect a note of … cynicism in your response?
Cynicism, sir? Heaven forfend!
Well, anyway, Barnes. Just make sure there’s plenty of that Chateau Lafite in the cellar. Lord Helmsley will have your guts for garters if we run out.
Of course, sir.
Yes, sir. It was a very very bad thing to have done and I’m really very ashamed of myself. I can only say it won’t happen again. To have murdered so many people in such a short space of time is really awful, and I really am very, very, very sorry that I did it, and also that I’ve taken up so much of the court’s valuable time listening to the sordid details of these senseless killings of mine. I would particularly like to say, a very personal and sincere ‘sorry’ to you, m’lud, for my appalling behaviour throughout this trial. I’d also like to say sorry to the police, for putting them to so much trouble for the literally hours of work they’ve had to put in, collecting evidence and identifying corpses and so forth. You know I think sometimes we ought to realize the difficult and often dangerous work involved in tracking down violent criminals like myself and I’d just like them to know that their fine work is at least appreciated by me.
Hello. My name is Bo, and I’m from Timbuktu.
Hello. Nice to meet you. My name is unknown, and I’m from nowhere.
Oh? Where’s that?
Well, I’m not exactly sure, but it’s somewhere between dreamtime and imagination.
Oh, you’re having fun with me, aren’t you?
Not really. You see, you’re just a figment of my imagination.
A figment of your …? I am not! I’m as real as you are.
You’re not, you know.
Prove it!
Well, I’m going to disimagine you now, and … there you are - gone! And it’s goodbye now from nowhere.
Well, strangling animals, golf, and masturbating.
I don’t care how fucking runny it is; hand it over with all speed.
Am I the man you married, Mrs. Eggers?
(huh - coulda sworn back in the day it was “Mrs. Hitchens”…oh well)
What are you going to do, bleed on me?
Well, it’s certainly uncontaminated by cheese.
What’s so special about the cheesemakers?
One thing is for sure, the sheep is not a creature of the air. They have enormous difficulty in the comparatively simple act of perchin’.
The Turkish Little Rude Plant…This remarkably smutty piece of flora was used by the Turks to ram up each other’s…Ah no! In fact it was something even more interesting…Yes, there it was, over the other side of the clearing, the legendary Puking Tree of Mozambique…
Look, it’s my duty as a knight to sample as much peril as I can.
Yes, but I’ve had the excess nipples woppled to remove tamping.