(From Live at the Hollywood Bowl): “Frankly, I find your American beer is like making love in a canoe.” “Making love in a canoe?” “It’s fucking close to water!”
Come to think of it, just about everyone has a better sense of humor than I do.
The flay rod’s gone askew on the treadle!
No, Mungo! Never…kill…a customer!
Now then, I must ask you to accompany me down to the dairy and do some aptitude tests.
Wankel Rotary Engine.
Now that’s just rude.
…there was light at the end of the tunnel … now this! Now THIS!..happened! It’s the end of the road!!
Good thing I didn’t tell him about the dirty spoon.
…and may I take this opportunity of emphasizing that there is no cannibalism in the British Navy. Absolutely none, and when I say none, I mean there is a certain amount, more than we are prepared to admit, but all new ratings are warned that if they wake up in the morning and find tooth marks at all anywhere on their bodies, they’re to tell me immediately so that I can immediately take every measure to hush the whole thing up. And, finally, necrophilia is right out.
Reg: But apart from the sanitation, the medicine, education, viniculture, public order, irrigation, roads, the fresh-water system, and public health, what have the Romans ever done for us?
PFJ Member: Brought peace?
Reg: Oh, peace? Shut up!
…I can go down the road any time I want and walk into Harry’s and hold my head up high, and say in a loud steady voice: “Harry, I want you to sell me a condom. In fact, today I think I’ll have a French Tickler, for I am a Protestant.”
Splitters!
“Why did you say ‘Burma!’?” “I panicked.”
Ooh my brain hurts.
It’ll have to come out then.
Bloody Romans.
Bloody Vikings.
Broody herr!
First offense? Yeah, crucifixion.