No, no. It’s spelt Raymond Luxury-Yacht but it’s pronounced Throat-Wobbler Mangrove!
My husband, like many men his age, is fifty.
Well you’d better cut down a little then.
No you didn’t, you came here for an argument.
What a senseless waste of human life.
Tell me, sir, have you confused your cat recently?
You look like a milkman to me.
Believe it or not, our Board of Directors questioned the need to employ a pantomime horse at all!
Ah - good evening everyone, and welcome to the second of our Italian language classes, in which we’ll be helping you brush up your Italian. Last week we started at the beginning, and we learnt the Italian for a ‘spoon’. Now, I wonder how many of you can remember what it was?
Let me have it as a souvenir of our hopeless, flawless love.
Oh, I thought you were complaining about the bouzouki player.
I can’t tell the difference between Whizzo butter and this dead crab.
I want you kids to get ahead.
No, you may not give urine instead of blood.
I’m worrying about what you have got against birds.
Well, never mind. I’ll just take the Lord Lieutenant in Nylons, then, and these two copies of Piggie Parade. Thank you.
::Sponsored by Heart Attacko Margarine::
Don’t be silly! How can you find someone not Esther Williams?
*Beautiful girl: *(turning to Gaskell with bated breath) You are Sir Philip Sidney?
Gaskell: (warily) Possibly… but I may be Superintendent Gaskell of the Vice Squad.
Penguins, yes, penguins. What relevance do penguins have to the furtherance of medical science? Well, strangely enough quite a lot, a major breakthrough, maybe. It was from such an unlikely beginning as an unwanted fungus accidentally growing on a sterile plate that Sir Alexander Fleming gave the world penicillin. James Watt watched an ordinary household kettle boiling and conceived the potentiality of steam power. Would Albert Einstein ever have hit upon the theory of relativity if he hadn’t been clever? All these tremendous leaps forward have been taken in the dark. Would Rutherford ever have split the atom if he hadn’t tried? Could Marconi have invented the radio if he hadn’t by pure chance spent years working at the problem? Are these amazing breakthroughs ever achieved except by years and years of unremitting study? Of course not. What I said earlier about accidental discoveries must have been wrong. Nevertheless scientists believe that these penguins, these comic flightless web-footed little bastards may finally unwittingly help man to fathom the uncharted depths of the human mind. Professor Rosewall of the Laver Institute.