Monty Python non sequitur thread (Part 1)

Thread Games
6001

You lucky bastard!

6002

  • Well alright…Alright…But only…if you go on a camping holiday with me.

  • He asked me! He asked me!

6003

Hello. Well, don’t leave him hanging around outside, darling. Ask him in.

6004

A path! A path!

6005

This is how it goes. The next thing I’m going to say is my theory. Ready?

6006

Kiss me, Hardy!

6007

9.1 … 9.3 … 9.7 … that’s 28.1 for Genghis Khan.

6008

This was Kevin Francis before last season’s ‘Trim-Jean Play of the Month’ production of ‘The Seagull’ by Anton Chekhov and the Sauna Belt Trim-Jean Company Limited. See Kevin has slipped into his slenderizing garment and is inflating it with the handy little pump provided. Three acts and a few special torso exercises later, Kevin, as Trigorin, the failed writer of sentimental romances, has lost over thirty-three inches. (same shot but very old, skinny John Hughman has replaced Terry J) Wow. What a difference. That Anton Chekhov can certainly write.

6009

Don’t call us. We’ll call you.

6010

Lemon curry?

6011

You want for them to pull up their skirts…

6012

Thanks, Jackie. Great idea. How to play the flute. (picking up a flute) Well here we are. You blow there and you move your fingers up and down here.

6013

We use choicest juicy chunks of fresh Cornish ram’s bladder, emptied, steamed, flavoured with sesame seeds, whipped into a fondue and garnished with lark’s vomit.

6014

Fuck off, I’m full.

6015

It’s only got three rats in it! Rather a lot, really…

6016

Yeah, it’s hidden in his trousers!

6017

Yes, it was the *middle *one.

6018

The BBC wishes to deny rumours that it is going into liquidation. Mrs Kelly, who owns the flat where they live, has said that they can stay on till the end of the month … (he is handed a piece of paper) and we’ve just heard that Hugh Weldon’s watch has been accepted by the London Electricity Board and transmissions for this evening can be continued as planned. (he coughs and pulls the blanket tighter round his shoulders) That’s all from me so… goodnight.

6019

What’s brown and sounds like a bell? Dung!

6020

Dead bishop on the landing.

What’s his diocese?

How should I know what his diocese is?

It’s stamped on the back of his neck.