Baboon of the Yard!
Mum, this is Judith. Judith, Mum.
Mr. Oliver Cavendish of Leicester, who claims to be able to recite the entire Bible in one second, whilst being struck on the head with a large axe. Ha, ha, wow. We’ve since discovered that he was a fraud, yes a fraud. He did not in fact recite the entire Bible he merely recited the first two words, “In the…” before his death.
The great thing about Ken is that he’s almost totally stupid.
Richard Nixon’s got a hedgehog called Frank.
Oh yes. That’s the only regiment that’s really doing something new with interior design, with colour, texture, line and that.
Please be quiet.
You know too much, my dental friend!
You are hereby charged that you did willfully take part in a strange sketch, that is, a skit, spoof or humorous vignette of an unconventional nature with intent to cause grievous mental confusion to the Great British Public. (to camera) Evening all.
Yeah, she’s a virgin.
I have a vewy gweat fwiend in Wome called “Biggus Dickus”.
Dear Sir, When I was at school, I was beaten regularly every thirty minutes, and it never did me any harm - except for psychological maladjustment and blurred vision. Yours truly, Flight Lieutenant Ken Frankenstein (Mrs).
This is supposed to be a happy occasion! Let’s not bicker and argue over who killed who.
Now come on, come on, there she is, she’s all ready for it. She’s a real stunner, she’s got great big tits, she’s really well stacked and you’ve got her legs up against the mantelpiece.
The BBC would like to announce that the next scene is not considered suitable for family viewing. It contains scenes of violence, involving people’s heads and arms getting chopped off, their ears nailed to trees, and their toenails pulled out in slow motion. There are also scenes of naked women with floppy breasts, and also at one point you can see a pair of buttocks and there’s another bit where I’ll swear you can see everything, but my friend says it’s just the way he’s holding the spear. (pulling himself together) Because of the unsuitability of the scene, the BBC will be replacing it with a scene from a repeat of ‘Gardening Club’ for 1958.
It’s Deidre.
And what is the name of your ravishing wife? Wait. Don’t tell me - it’s something to do with moonlight - it goes with her eyes - it’s soft and gentle, warm and yielding, deeply lyrical and yet tender and frightened like a tiny white rabbit.
Well, we’ll not risk another frontal assault. That rabbit’s dynamite!
It’s got her name on the bottom.
It’s…