If only Bicycle Repair Man were here!
Good evening and welcome to another edition of ‘Storage Jars’. On tonight’s programme Mikos Antoniarkis, the Greek rebel leader who seized power in Athens this morning, tells us what he keeps in storage jars. (quick cut to photo of a guerrilla leader with a gun; sudden dramatic chord; instantly cut back to the presenter) From strife-torn Bolivia, Ronald Rodgers reports on storage jars there. (still of a Bolivian city and again dramatic chord and instantly back to the presenter) And closer to home, the first dramatic pictures of the mass jail-break near the storage jar factory in Maidenhead. All this and more in “Storage Jars”!
I’m taking this lot in in the name of Her Gracious Majesty Queen Elizabeth.
No, she’s … she’s all I got left now. My wife, Doreen … she … I got a letter.
I’ve just been reading a great big book about how to put your budgie down, and apparently you can either hit them with the book, or you can shoot them just there, just above the beak.
'Tis a… er… 'tis a story of a man’s great love for his… fellow men.
Don’t like her? What’s wrong with her? She’s beautiful, she’s rich, she’s got huuuge… tracts of land.
Eee I was all hungry like!
I don’t care how fucking runny it is.
Oh indeed - if only for the composition alone. The strength of those foreground figures … the firmness of the line…
I’m averting my gaze, Lord.
The bbc would like to apologize to everyone in the world for the last item. It was disgusting and bad and thoroughly disobedient and please don’t bother to phone up because we know it was very tasteless, but they didn’t really mean it and they do all come from broken homes and have very unhappy personal lives, especially eric. Anyway, they’re really very nice people underneath and very warm in the traditional show business way and please don’t write in either because the bbc is going through an unhappy phase at the moment – what with its father dying and the mortgage and bbc 2 going out with men.
Richard Nixon’s got a hedgehog called Frank.
Only the true Messiah denies His divinity.
Pedestrians are still being threatened by vicious gangs of “Keep Left” signs.
No, no, Dickens wrote “David Copperfield” with two Ps. This is “David Coperfield” with one P by Edmund Wells.
Hello to you live from the Grillomat Snack Bar, Paignton. And so, without any more ado, let’s have the titles.
He has, however, chosen a rather obvious piece of cover.
Well, if they’re bigger than a mouse, you can strangle them with it, and if they’re smaller than, you flog them to death with it!
Well may you ask. We just been moved in next to a room full of Brueghels … terrible bloody din. Skating all hours of the night. Anyway, I just dropped in to tell you there’s been a walk-out in the Impressionists.