Monty Python non sequitur thread (Part 1)

Ooo, I’ve had a bitch of a morning, luv!

It’s funny how one can go through life, as I have, disliking bananas and being indifferent to cheese, and then be able to eat, and enjoy, a banana and cheese sandwich like that.

Mount Everest: forbidding, aloof, terrifying. The mountain with the biggest tits in the world.

All our patients here are suffering from severe over-acting.

Man’s voice: I think she’s dead.
Mary, Queen of Scots: No I’m not!

I want you kids to get a head!

:: canned laughter ::

I’ve had enough of this!

No you haven’t.

Look, that rabbit’s got a vicious streak a mile wide! It’s a killer!

Oh, yeah, she’s a virgin. Definitely.

Great boobies, honeybun, my lower intestine is full of spam, egg, spam, bacon, spam, tomato, spam …

What a strange person.

I understand he also nailed your wife’s head to a coffee table.

And finally, monsieur, a wafer-thin mint.

Vicar Sergeant, ma’am.

Minister: It’s not particularly silly, is it? I mean, the right leg isn’t silly at all and the left leg merely does a forward aerial half turn every alternate step.

Mr. Pudey: Yes, but I think that with Government backing I could make it very silly.

The plumage don’t enter into it!

Yes, I used birds’ nests, moss and oak leaves round the outside.

He’s that most dangerous of creatures, a clever sheep. ‘E’s realized that a sheep’s life consists of standin’ around for a few months and then bein’ eaten. And that’s a depressing prospect for an ambitious sheep.

Oh, and Jenkins? Apparently your mother died this morning.

First offense? Oh, yeah, crucifixion.