No one is to stone anyone until I blow this whistle. EVEN … and I want to make this absolutely clear … EVEN if they DO say “Jehovah.”
Ordinarily, yes, sir. Today the van broke down.
Dear Sir, I wish to complain in the strongest possible terms about the song which you have just broadcast, about the lumberjack who wears women’s clothes. Many of my best friends are lumberjacks and only a few of them are transvestites. Yours faithfully, Brigadier Sir Charles Arthur Strong (Mrs.) PS I have never kissed the editor of the Radio Times.
It’s a bit runny, sir.
Now, Mr Pudey. I’m not going to mince words with you. I’m going to offer you a Research Fellowship on the Anglo-French silly walk.
Actually, it’s very runny, sir.
I’ll tell you what I want! I want a last supper with one Christ, twelve disciples, no kangaroos, no trampoline acts, by Thursday lunch, or you don’t get paid!
Oh, heaven’s sakes we are being formal. Does it have to be surnames?
I think it’s runnier than you like it, sir.
Sorry sqire, I gobbed all over your carpet.
Hello. Uhh, can we have your liver?
Oh! The cat’s eaten it.
Shut your beak. Gott in Himmel… I never get any peace here.
If only we had some kind of missile, we could take the steam out of those bells.
She, sir.
‘E’s not pinin’! 'E’s passed on! This parrot is no more! He has ceased to be! 'E’s expired and gone to meet 'is maker! 'E’s a stiff! Bereft of life, 'e rests in peace! If you hadn’t nailed 'im to the perch 'e’d be pushing up the daisies! 'Is metabolic processes are now 'istory! 'E’s off the twig! 'E’s kicked the bucket, 'e’s shuffled off ‘is mortal coil, run down the curtain and joined the bleedin’ choir invisibile!! THIS IS AN EX-PARROT!!
Of course I can talk, Mother. I’m the Minister of Overseas Development.
Look, you’ve got it all wrong! You don’t NEED to follow ME, You don’t NEED to follow ANYBODY! You’ve got to think for yourselves! You’re ALL individuals!
Well, I’ve been a hunter all my life. I love animals. That’s why I like to kill 'em. I wouldn’t kill an animal I didn’t like.
None shall pass.