Well, you have to know these things when you’re King, you know.
I teach Hegelian philosophy; Bruce here teaches Aristotolean philosophy, and Bruce here is in charge of the sheep dip.
Can I please speak! I came all the way from Oslo to do this program! I’m a professor of archaeology. I’m an expert in ancient civilizations. All right, I’m only five foot ten. All right my posture is bad, all right I slump in my chair. But I’ve had more women than either of you two! I’ve had half bloody Norway, that’s what I’ve had! So you can keep your Robert Eversley! And you can keep your bloody Watutsi!
Look, I stopped your sketch five minutes ago. So get out of shot. Right, director! Close up. Zoom in on me. That’s better.
It’s tatooed on the back o’ their neck.
Nineteen foot three… damn you!
Next we have Mr. Bill Wymiss who claims to have built the Taj Mahal.
He was dirty, smelly and distasteful … and I liked him very much … but…
You’re a very silly man and I’m not going to interview you.
It’s been shot off.
Is your name not Bruce, then?
We are no longer the knights who say “Ni!” We are now the knights who say “Ekki-ekki-ekki-pitang-zoom-boing!”
'Ere, get off! I’m not taking me trousers down on television. Who do you think I am?
That might cause confusion.
Also, we’re demanding a ten foot mahogany statue of the Emperor Julius Caesar with his cock hanging out.
Well, hello, it’s the wacky Queen again!
The plumage don’t enter into it.
I have a hat.
Oh, all right! Well, can I borrow one for the weekend.
Not much of a cheese shop, is it, really?