Mr. Notlob, there’s nothing wrong with you that an expensive operation can’t prolong.
Ask me the questions, bridgekeeper. I am not afraid.
It’s an interesting question. Personally I rather adhere to the Bergsonian idea of laughter as a social sanction against inflexible behaviour but… excuse me a moment… And now…
It’s…
Ohhh! Fishy, fishy, fishy, fish!
Still no sign of land. How long is it?
That’s a rather personal question, sir.
What is your name, Jew?
With a gammy leg? Ewww!
Regards,
Shodan
Yes, but I think that with Government backing I could make it very silly.
No, Brian.
:: smack ::
Funny, you look much shorter than that to me. Are you slumped forward in your chair at all?
[OOG: A movie made in the UK in 2015 hits USA theaters next month: Absolutely Anything. Written and directed by Terry Jones, it stars Simon Pegg as a down-on-his-luck everyman who is given amazing powers by space aliens, voiced by Terry Jones, Terry Gilliam, Michael Palin, Eric Idle and John Cleese. He is aided in his quest to figure out what to do with his powers by his talking dog. The voice of the dog, in his last-ever film role, is Robin Williams. There you are. Simon Pegg, Monty Python and Robin Williams. Together.
And now for something completely different. ]
I would tax Raquel Welch… and I have a feeling she’d tax me.
Let that be a warning to you all. You move at your peril, for I have two pistols here. I know one of them isn’t loaded any more, but the other one is, so that’s one of you dead for sure…or just about for sure anyway. It certainly wouldn’t be worth your while risking it because I’m a very good shot. I practice every day…well, not absolutely every day, but most days in the week. I expect I must practice, oh, at least four or five times a week…or more, really, but some weekends, like last weekend, there really wasn’t the time, so that brings the average down a bit. I should say it’s definitely a solid four days’ practice a week…At least…I mean…I reckon I could hit that tree over there. Er…the one just behind that hillock. The little hillock, not the big one on the…you see the three trees over there? Well, the one furthest away on the right… (fade)
This is Mr Nesbitt of Harlow New Town. Mr Nesbit would you stand up please. (nothing happens) Mr Nesbitt has learnt the first lesson of not being seen. However he has chosen a very obvious piece of cover.
Today I hear the robin sing
Today the thrush is on the wing
Today who knows what life will bring
It’s Dierdre.
I’m not dead!
In Brisbon, the Brain brothers, Nicky and Vance, torture a Mayfair psychologist, who reveals to Dora Brain in a tender and emotional death scene that his hair is not his own.
Yes! Policemen make wonderful friends. So if you are over six feet tall and would like a friend, a pen friend, in the police force, here is the address to write to: ‘Mrs Ena Frog, 8 Masonic Apron Street, Cowdenbeath’. Remember - policemen make wonderful friends. So write today and take advantage of our free officer. Thank you. And now for the next sketch.