Now - you will stay in the Comfy Chair until lunchtime, with only a cup of coffee at eleven.
Oh sh*t, it’s Mr. Creosote!
Can I just say that this is the second time I’ve been on television?
Uh…Launcelot, Galahad, and I…Uh…leap out of the rabbit…uh…and uh…um…Look: if we built this large wooden badger-
Next week we’ll be showing you how to pick up an architect, how to pull a prime minister, and how to have fun with a wholesale poulterer.
Uh, Mr. Bounder, this gentleman is interested in the “India Overland” - and nothing else.
Course you don’t get fucking wafers with it!
£wag
It was a day like any other and Mr and Mrs Samuel Brainsample were a perfectly ordinary couple, leading perfectly ordinary lives - the sort of people to whom nothing extraordinary ever happened, and not the kind of people to be the centre of one of the most astounding incidents in the history of mankind … So let’s forget about them and follow instead the destiny of this man …
Have the new paper clips arrived, Enid?
It’s Deirdre.
Can I have fifty pounds to mend the shed?
I’m right on my uppers.
I can pay you back
When this postal order comes from Australia.
Honestly.
Hope the bladder trouble’s getting better.
Love, Ewan.
What’s twenty quid to the bloody Midland Bank?
One can see the immense amount of preparation involved. Have there been many difficulties in setting up this venture?
It’s a Mr. Death, dear. He’s here about the reaping.
Only the true Messiah denies His divinity.
Hello, good evening and welcome to another edition of Blood, Devastation, Death, War and Horror, and later on we’ll be meeting a man who does gardening.
Stop. Stop there! Stop there. Whew! Our chief weapon is surprise, blah, blah, blah, blah.
Kiss me Harrr…
…rrrdy!
Ladies and gentlemen, seldom can it have been a greater pleasure and privilege than it is for me now to announce that the next award gave me the great pleasure and privilege of asking a man without whose ceaseless energy and tireless skill the British Film Industry would be today. I refer of course to my friend and colleague, Mr David Niven. Sadly, David Niven cannot be with us tonight, but he has sent his fridge. This is the fridge in which David keeps most of his milk, butter and eggs. What a typically selfless gesture, that he should send this fridge, of all his fridges, to be with us tonight.