She’s got huge… tracts of land.
Ewww, with a gammy leg?
May I ask you to reconsider. I mean, you wouldn’t regret it. Think of the tourist trade.
I object to all this sex on the television. I mean, I keep falling off.
Michelangelo: Good evening, Your Holiness.
Pope: Evening, Michelangelo. I want to talk to you about this painting of yours, The Last Supper. I’m not happy about it.
Michelangelo: Oh, dear. It took me hours.
Pope: Not happy at all.
Michelangelo: Is it the jello you don’t like?
Pope: No.
Michelangelo: It does add a bit of colour, doesn’t it. Oh, I know, you don’t like the kangaroo.
Pope: What kangaroo?
Michelangelo: No problem, I’ll paint him out.
Pope: I never saw a kangaroo.
Michelangelo: Uh, he’s right at the back. No sweat, I’ll make him into a disciple. All right?
Pope: That’s the problem.
Michelangelo: What is?
Pope: The disciples.
Michelangelo: Are they too Jewish? I made Judas the most Jewish.
Pope: No, it’s just that there are 28 of them.
They’re eating the blancmange!
Well, I’ll have a slice without so much rat in it.
Bloody vikings.
Great, great, Alan. Well, next week we’ll be showing you how black and white people can live together in peace and harmony, and Alan will be over in Moscow showing us how to reconcile the Russians and the Chinese. So, until next week, cheerio.
Not at all, vicar. You’re our best customer, after North America.
You probably noticed that I didn’t say ‘and now for something completely different’ just now. This is simply because I am unable to appear in the show this week.
Oh no, that’s next door. It’s being-hit-on-the-head lessons in here.
Mr Luxury Yacht, this nose of yours is false. It’s made of polystyrene and your own hooter’s a beaut. No pruning necessary.
It’s…
The Characters and incidents portrayed and the names used are fictitious and any similarity to the names, characters, or history of any person is entirely accidental and unintentional.
Signed RICHARD M. NIXON
I think she’s dead.
Well, it’s nothing very special. Try to be nice to people, avoid eating fat, read a good book every now and then, get some walking in, and try and live together in peace and harmony with people of all creeds and nations.
A nod’s as good as a wink to a blind bat!
Nudge, nudge, wink, wink.
Dead Indian!