…and together we were beginning to get over this dark patch … there was light at the end of the tunnel . … now this …! now this…! It’s the end of the road!!
Hail Caesar. If it’s not done by sunrise, I’ll cut your balls off.
I mean, the Inniskillin Fusiliers and the Anglian Regiment are all right if you’re interested in the art nouveau William Morris revival bit, but if you really want a regiment of the line that is really saying something about interior decor, then you’ve got to go for the Durham Light Infantry.
Follow. But! Follow only if ye be men of valour, for the entrance to this cave is guarded by a creature so foul, so cruel that no man yet has fought with it-and lived! Bones of full fifty men lie strewn about its lair!
So, brave knights, if you do doubt your courage or your strength, come no further, for death awaits you all, with nasty, big, pointy teeth!
What an eccentric performance.
There’s no more work. We’re destitute. I’m afraid I have no choice but to sell you all for scientific experiments.
Gaskell: “Toledo Tit Parade? What sort of play’s that?”
Spaniard: “It’s very visual, Senor.”
I cut down trees, I wear high heels
Suspenders and a bra
I wish I were a girlie
Just like my dear papa
I swear to tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth, so anyway, I said to her, I said, they can’t afford that on what he earns, I mean for a start the feathers get up your nose, I ask you, four and six a pound, and him with a wooden leg, I don’t know how she puts up with it after all the trouble she’s had with her you-know-what, anyway it was a white wedding much to everyone’s surprise, of course they bought everything on the hire purchase, I think they ought to send them back where they came from, I mean you’ve got to be cruel to be kind so Mrs Harris said, so she said, she said, she said, the dead crab she said, she said. Well, her sister’s gone to Rhodesia what with her womb and all, and her youngest, her youngest as thin as a filing cabinet, and the goldfish, the goldfish they’ve got whooping cough they keep spitting water all over their Bratbys, well, they do don’t they, I mean you can’t, can you, I mean they’re not even married or anything, they’re not even divorced, and he’s in the KGB if you ask me, he says he’s a tree surgeon but I don’t like the sound of his liver, all that squeaking and banging every night till the small hours, his mother’s been much better since she had her head off, yes she has, I said, don’t you talk to me about bladders, I said…
Black as the ace of spades!
(singing)
If I were not in the CID
Something else I’d like to be
If I were not in the CID
A window cleaner, me!
With a rub-a-dub-dub and a scrub-a-dub-dub
And a rub-a-dub all day long
With a rub-a-dub-dub and a scrub-a-dub-dub
I’d sing this merry song!
Not at all, Vicar. You’re our best customer [for sherry], after North America.
Call the church!
Call the police!
Call the church police!
He’s pinin’ for the fjords.
A Møøse once bit my sister…
Always look on the bright side of death.
My nipples explode with delight!
He used sarcasm. He knew all the tricks, dramatic irony, metaphor, bathos, puns, parody, litotes and satire.
I promise I won’t kill you.
Senseless waste of human life.