No. 1. The Larch.
listen to me, smartarse, when you’re King of France,… you’ve got better things to do than go around all day remembering your bloody number.
You have to know these things when you’re King, you know.
Er… aye, yeah… the trouble is he’s been drinking a bit recently … you’ know, fourteen lagers with his breakfast… that sort of thing.
Oh dear, I’m not supposed to go mad till 1800!
How tall are you, Professor?
And here, in Castle Anthrax, we have one punishment for setting alight the Grail - shaped beacon.
Sir Robert… are you really five foot ten?
It’s not a balloon! You stupid little thick-headed Saxon git! It’s not a balloon! Balloons is for kiddy-winkies. If you want to play with balloons, get outside.
Are you slumped forward in your chair at all?
The text, vic! Don’t say the text!
No. You’ve not been properly trained. I demand another assistant.
The Germans playing 4-2-4, Leibnitz in goal, back four Kant, Hegel, Schopenhauer and Schelling, front-runners Schlegel, Wittgenstein, Nietzsche and Heidegger, and the mid-field duo of Beckenbauer and Jaspers. Beckenbauer obviously a bit of a surprise there.
Ni! Ni!
A Møøse once bit my sister…
Say no more!
We were out strolling across a fiord one day when one of the local matadors came out of his tree house and flung a load of old scimitars and guillotines out that he’d got cluttering up his wine cellar and apparently rather a large proportion of them landed on my wife causing her to snuff it without much more ado.
He has a wife , you know. You know what she’s called. She’s called Incontinentia - Incontinentia Buttocks .
Bunch of monkeys on the ceiling, sir! Grab your egg-and-fours and let’s get the bacon delivered!
Blimey, whatever did I give the wife?