Monty Python non sequitur thread (Part 1)

I don’t want to talk to you no more, you empty headed animal food trough wiper! I fart in your general direction! Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries!

What’s it like?

What an eccentric performance.

Oh look… is it a stockbroker?

Must be a board meeting.

Say no more!

Look! Two people [another falls] three people have just fallen past that window.

Is it a quantity Surveyor?

Hey. That was Wilkins of Finance.

Is it a church warden?

How much do you bet it won’t? Fiver?

Clink!
Screw!
Bend!
Inflate!
Alter Saddle!

Oh, that’s typical. Talk talk talk. Natter natter natter!

Is she a goer, eh?

A nod’s as good as a wink to a blind bat!

The salmon mousse!

Quiet. Quiet. Now wait a minute. I have already warned this programme about infringing the Army copyright of our slogan ‘It’s a pig’s life… man’s life in the modern army’. And I’m warning you if it happens again, I shall come down on this programme like a ton of bricks… right. Carry on sergeant major.

He has a wife, you know….

Fresh fruit not good enough for you eh? Well I’ll tell you something my lad. When you’re walking home tonight and some homicidal maniac comes after you with a bunch of loganberries, don’t come crying to me!

We done passionfruit.