What’s that on the telly?
Thank God for that. For one ghastly moment I thought I was… too late. If only more people would call in the nick of time.
Eh, freedom for me. They said I hadn’t done anything, so I can go free and live on an island somewhere.
Yes! We are all individuals!
I’m not.
How did you know my name was Eric?
G’day, Bruce!
I have a hat.
Well, that’s about it for tonight ladies and gentlemen, but remember if you’ve enjoyed watching the show just half as much as we’ve enjoyed doing it, then we’ve enjoyed it twice as much as you. Ha, ha, ha.
Burglary is almost as serious a business as murder. Some burglaries are more serious than murder. A burglary in which someone gets stabbed is murder! So don’t come these petty distinctions with me. You’re as bad as a judge. Right, now! The first thing to do in the event of a breach of the peace of any kind, is to… go… (pause) and … oh, sorry, sorry, I was miles away.
Yes, it is!
All right then, the briefcase and the umbrella. A fiver down, must be my final offer.
You lucky bastard! You lucky, lucky bastard!
Chuff, chuff, chuffwoooooch, woooooch! Sssssssss, sssssssss! Diddledum, diddledum, diddlealum. Toot, toot. The train now standing at platform eight, tch, tch, tch, diddledum, diddledum. Chuffff chuffffiTff eeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaa Vooooommmmm.
Shall I thwow him to the fwoor?
Well I’ve always been interested in Imperial Rome from Julius Caesar right through to Vethpathian.
Uh oh, here comes that wacky Queen again!
We’ll be showing you more of that photograph later in the programme… unless we hear from Charles or Michael.
Peace? I like a piece. Know what I mean? Know what I mean? Say no more. Nudge, nudge.
Bye bye, and mind you don’t get seduced.