we are the knight who say ni
“It’s hotter than a monkey’s bum in here, Your Majesty,” he said, and she smiled quietly to herself.
I thought it was “blue in the mouth.” 
Once upon a time, there was an enchanted prince, who ruled the land beyond the wobbles. One day, he discovered a spot on his face. Foolishly, he ignored it…and three years later, he died of cancer. The spot, however, flourished, and soon set out to seek its fortune.
Pretty sure both have been attested in various versions. The Parrot Sketch - see note #26
I took the liberty of examining that parrot when I got it home, and I discovered the only reason that it had been sitting on its perch in the first place was that it had been NAILED there.
At last! A call, a cry of distress! This could be the sign that leads us to the Holy Grail! Brave, brave Concorde! You shall not have died in vain!
I’m getting better!
I don’t care how fucking runny it is; hand it over with all speed.
<rings bell>
Burglar!
Stop talking to the camera.
Well, let’s see what we’ve got next. In a few moments, ‘It’s a Tree’, and in the chair as usual is Arthur Tree, and starring in the show will be a host of star guests as his guest stars, and then, at 9.30, we’ve got another rollocking half-hour of laughter-packed squalor with ‘Yes, It’s the Sewage Farm Attendants’.
I only told the good wife that that peice of halibut was good enough for jehova
Are there any women here?
Don’t come here with that posh talk, you nasty, stuck-up twit!
fish dance
If the penguin belonged to the zoo, it would have “Property of the Zoo” stamped on it!
ARTHUR TREE: Hello. Hello people, and welcome to ‘It’s a Tree’. We have some really exciting guests for you this evening: a fabulous spruce, back from a tour of Holland; three gum trees making their first appearance in this country; Scots pine and the conifers, and Elm Tree Bole… there you go; can’t be bad… an exciting new American plank, a rainforest and a bucket of sawdust giving their views on teenage violence, and an unusual guest for this programme, a piece of laminated plastic.
PIECE OF LAMINATED PLASTIC: Hi there!
Then did we bust the Harry Tony mob, who did seek to import Scandinavian filth via Germany. For six years they cleaned up a packet - came the day I got whiff of them through a squealer and within one week did a mop-up right good. They’re now languishing, doing five years’ bird in Parkhurst.
!! witch…witch ?? WITCH …witch … witch !!!
Allow me to introduce myself. I’m Chief Constable There’samanbehindyou.