No, no, no, oooooooh, in surprise and alarm.
Well, er, speaking as a man in the street… (a car runs him over) Wagh!
Now on BBC television a choice of viewing. On BBC 2 - a discussion on censorship between Derek Hart, The Bishop of Woolwich and a nude man. And on BBC 1 - me telling you this. And now…
And now for something completely different…
There’s a whole horde of them marauding Visigoths to see y’all.
Bones of full 50 men lie strewn about its lair. Yet no man hath ever fought with it and lived.
I use two kinds of aftershave lotion - Frankincense, Myrrh - three kinds of aftershave lotion, Frankincense, Myrrh, Sandalwood - four kinds of aftershave lotion. Frankincense, …
Larks’ vomit?!?
Oh, we use only the finest baby frogs, dew-picked and flown from Iraq, cleansed in the finest quality spring water, lightly killed, and sealed in a succulent, Swiss, quintuple-smooth, treble-milk chocolate envelope, and lovingly frosted with glucose.
D’you got wafers with it?
And now for the first item this evening on the Menu - ha ha - the team have chosen as a little hors d’oeuvres an item - and I think we can be sure it won’t be an ordinary item - in fact the team mid told me just before the show that anything could happen, and probably would - so let’s have … the item.
Aren’t you going to say ‘What’s all this then?’?
Good evening. Here is the News for Parrots. No parrots were involved in an accident on the M1 today, when a lorry carrying high octane fuel was in collision with a hollard … that is a bollard, and not a parrot.
Good Lord. I’m on film. How did that happen?
A Mr. Pither to see you, doctor. His bicycle pump got caught in his sock.
You said I was going to be a funny passenger.
But if you can find a piano stool you can appear later on in the show on film.
[superimposed caption] THE TUESDAY DOCUMENTARY HAS BECOME “CHILDREN’S STORY”
The Larch.
You see, it’s very simple - I just take these cut-out figures and by putting them together… oh, you mean we’re on?.. (Gilliam’s head appears briefly) Sorry.