Those of you who missed 8:45 on Friday will be able to see it again this Friday at a quarter to nine.
Hello. Here at the Institute Professor Charles Pasarell, Dr. Peaches Bartkowicz and myself have been working on the theory originally postulated by the late Dr Kramer that the penguin is intrinsically more intelligent than the human being.
How could a 5-ounce bird possibly carry a 1-pound coconut?
- Mr. Devious, I just want to know what it would cost me to have a fully comprehensive insurance on a 1970 Aston Martin.
- Aston Martin?
- Yes.
- (quickly) Five hundred quid.
- Five hundred quid?
- Forty quid.
- Forty quid?
- Forty quid and a nude lady.
I got better.
Tota gallia divisa est in tres partes Wigan, Hunslett and Hull Kingston Rovers.
No … I must ask you please not to ring in until you’ve seen all the photos.
And we kick off tonight with Cardinal Richelieu and his impersonation of Petula Clark.
Harold Potter, gardener, and tax official, first victim of Creatures from another Planet.
Je vois que vous avez un chou.
My brain hurts!
… the zany exploits of a wacky Queen, and that’s followed by ‘Limestone, Dear Limestone’…
And here comes that wacky queen again!
- Here, here! You’re on television, aren’t you?
- Yes.
- He does the thing with one of those silly women who can’t tell Whizzo butter from a dead crab.
- You try that around here, young man, and we’ll slit your face.
Good evening. We’ve got an action-packed evening for you tonight on Thames, but right now here’s a rotten old BBC programme.
It’s…
Mince pie for me, please.
The salmon mousse!
Lemon curry?