I have a hat.
That’s not a part of the body.
I’m not allowed to argue unless you’ve paid.
You naughty person.
(and CAPTION:)
‘AND NOW…NO. 1…THE LARCH…AND NOW…’
Nobody can say ‘five-penny please’ and make it funny.
They look pretty tame to me already.
Now we’ve got some science fiction for you, some sci-fi, something to send the shivers up your spine, send the creepy crawlies down your lager and limes. All the lads have contributed to it, it’s a little number entitled, Science Fiction Sketch…
At this time we’d like to up the tempo a little, change the mood. We’ve got a number requested by Pip, Pauline, Nigel, Tarquin, and old Spotty - Tarquin’s mother - a little number specially written for the pubescence of ex-King Zog of Albania, and it’s entitled ‘Art Gallery’. Hope you like it.
I am not the Messiah!
Now, the Chaldeans, who used to inhabit the area in between the Tigris and Euphrates rivers, their helmets were of the modular restrained kind of type.
Official: The official result of the World Hide-and-Seek, Mr. Don Roberrs from Hinckley, Leicestershire, 11 years, 2 months, 26 days, 9 hours, 3 minutes, 27 seconds. Mr. Francisco Huron, Paraguay, 11 years, 2 months, 26 days, 9 hours, 3 minutes, 27 seconds. The result - a tie.
Voice Over: A tie! Well what a fantastic result. Well the replay will start tomorrow at 7.30 a.m.
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no! Well, yes.
I don’t much care for the tone of your voice.
Tell me sir, have you confused your cat recently?
Oh how horrible… Will they stop at nothing?
Good Lord, the bar’s open! (they all scramble madly to their feet) Oh no it isn’t, I was looking at the little hand that goes round very fast …
Are you mad?
Dead Indian.
Dear Sir,
I object strongly to the obvious athletic turn this show has now taken. Why can’t we hear more about the human body? There is nothing embarrassing or nasty about the human body except for the intestines and bits of the bottom.
Yours etc.,
Ken Voyeur.